Saudi News..more panty issues as women fight back


Trust me.
You will look great in that bra!
Saudi women are intensifying their public campaign to press the government to agree to their demands for replacing salesmen with women at lingerie shops in the Gulf Kingdom, saying the situation has become shameful.

The first thing Dalya does when entering a lingerie shop in Saudi Arabia is scan the area for men after an embarrassing encounter a year ago.

With colourful lace, cotton and sheer bras on display, the 26-year-old vividly remembers when she randomly picked one up to examine it only to be surprised by a male voice saying: "That bra is not your size, you need one two sizes bigger".

Fatima Qaroob said the campaign had also been launched on Facebook and initial results were very encouraging as many men have also voiced support for the drive on the grounds their wives or female relatives face an embarrassing situation when they shop for clothes.

“We have received massive support from both women and men because it has become unbearable and the situation has become shameful…...we hear shameful and embarrassing stories almost every day about our women when they go shopping for underwear…these stories make you either cry or laugh,” she said in a statement carried by the Arabic language daily Alyoum.

Qaroob sarcastically summed up the situation when women shop for underwear, saying:”the salesman comes forward and says feminishly ‘what is your measurement and what is your colour my lady…I think this colour does not suit your skin so I will choose the right colour for you….I know what you are looking for and I am sure you will later thank me for my choice……

“Salesmen have other expressions for the customers…they become softer and say ‘I think this one is attractive and seductive..…take it and I am sure you will pray for me…this one is very comfortable and cozy especially in bed and it is favoured by most wives…this one is perfect for your body…..”

Qaroob said many Saudi women have started to shop abroad to avert embarrassment, adding that lingerie shops in most other countries are run by women. “Why can’t we just be like them or even ahead of them.”

She said the employment of young Saudi men at lingerie shops poses a threat to them as this “will give rise to the emergence of a state of a third sex gender.”

Qaroob said the idea of the new campaign emerged after she and other Saudi women were “shocked at the way the salesmen talk to female customers.”

“They have no reservation or decency in the way they talk or deal with the female customers at lingerie shops…after we passed through this ourselves, we decided to launch this campaign after Ramadan…so far, we have received strong support from many women and men, including Islamic clerics and officials.”

Asmaa Al Mohammed, a writer in the mass circulation Saudi Arabic language daily Okaz, said she often had to travel abroad to buy her underwear from saleswomen because all underwear dealers in Saudi Arabia are men.

“We had enough because we feel embarrassed and humiliated when we buy our underwear from men…it is time that the government put an end to the embarrassment caused to Saudi women when they buy their underwear from salesmen,” she said in an article published by Okaz newspaper.

“I have become so embarrassed to buy my underwear from salesmen that I started to travel abroad to get my needs…I fully support the ‘enough embarrassment’ campaign against allowing men to sell ladies’ underwear.”
Had a visual of a Saudi man buying a jock strap and the female sales clerk telling him....that's 2 sizes larger than what you need.
Btw, as there were no bra stores or bra's at the time of Muhammad, these gawd guys don't even have a hadith to justify this stupidity.

Saudi women fight for their marital fate

By AFP

Because the Quran gave women
too many rights...
we prefer Bukhari and hadith
...
and tribal law is cool, too
A blend of conservative traditions gives Saudi men absolute control over their daughters until they wed.

Women in Saudi Arabia are fighting back against tribal traditions that make them hostage to the whims of their fathers and male guardians who alone can decide who their future husbands will be.

Faced with a lifetime of being forced to remain single, an increasing number of Saudi women, many of them university graduates with good jobs, are going to court to dispute their fathers' refusal to sign off on their marriages.

In July, a Medina court rejected a 42-year-old doctor's petition to override her father and brothers' refusal to allow her marriage to a surgeon she works with, because he did not belong to their tribe.

The court ruled that the father was justified, and that she was not being obedient by trying to marry someone outside the clan.

"Unfortunately we have a strange paradox in society, where young girls only 10 years old can be married, but an adult woman can be prevented from marrying for illogical reasons," Suhaila Zainal Abidin of the National Society for Human Rights told AFP.

University professor Amal Saleh agreed.  "In pre-Islamic times they would just kill an unwanted daughter. Now it is killing her as an adult," she said.Islamic teachings say that a father must agree to his daughter's marriage if the potential husband is moral and a devout Muslim.  But in Saudi Arabia, a blend of Islamic sharia law and deeply conservative tribal traditions gives men absolute control over their daughters until they wed.

The most common reason is the tribal issue: the fathers insist their daughters marry someone inside their clan, the key social fabric of the kingdom from which derives significant political and economic power.

Sometimes a daughter is not allowed to marry a man she likes on the basis of having been pledged since childhood to someone else, perhaps a cousin.

"We want to eliminate this phenomenon of ignorance," said Saleh who has a Facebook campaign supporting Saudi women's marriage rights.
I think we should support her cause.  I really don't know why Allah/God thought all men should be in charge of all women.  Obviously there are a lot of stupid men.

Saudi divorces wife over cheese sambosa


A Saudi man beat up his wife and divorced her just before the end of the Muslim fasting month of Ramadan because she stuffed his sambosa pie with cheese not meat, Kabar Arabic language daily reported on Thursday.

The unidentified husband returned home from work in Riyadh and asked his wife to make meat sambosa for his iftar (Ramdan evening meal), the paper said.

"Instead of putting meat in the pie, she stuffed it with cheese...when her husband tasted it, he was mad...he beat her up, divorced her and kicked her out."
I'm thinking that was her plan all along.


Underwear that protects privacy at airport


Invention gets you through airport screeners with your dignity intact

It's a special kind of underwear with a strategically placed fig leaf design and a Colorado man says it'll get you through the airport screeners with your dignity intact.

Jeff Buske says his invention uses a powdered metal that protects people's privacy when undergoing medical or security screenings.

Buske of Las Vegas, Nev.-Rocky Flats Gear says the underwear's inserts are thin and conform to the body's contours, making it difficult to hide anything beneath them. The mix of tungsten and other metals do not set off metal detectors.

The men's design has the fig leaf, while the one for women comes in the shape of clasped hands.
lol

It's unclear whether it would lead to an automatic, more intrusive pat down by federal Transportation Security Administration officials.
Hmm..looking at these undies, gotta wonder if he thinks the area around the belly button is his...dignity.

Wearing hijab and underwear




think that blind man
can still see us?
A Muslim asks a scholar

Is it ok to take off the burqa in front of a blind man?
Are you serious?

And the scholar replies
I guess that proves he is…

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing wrong with a woman taking off her niqab or khimar in front of a blind man.
Because…
The Messenger of Allah told Fatima, he is a blind man and you can take off your garment.”

In another report it says: “If you take off your khimar he will not see you.”

Hmm….blind guys can’t see. Was this really news back then?
Apparently this question has been asked more than once…

Shaykh ‘Uthaymeen was asked: What is the ruling on observing hijab in front of a blind teacher?

He replied: what an Allah dammed stupid question. Go slap yourself! Blind men can’t see. Damn fool.
Just kidding, here is what he really said….

There is no hijab in front of a blind teacher because the Prophet said to Fatima: “..for he is a blind man and you can take off your garment.” End quote.

Apparently there was only one Hadith on this matter. So their conclusion was/is….

The correct view – and Allah knows best – is that she does not have to observe hijab in front of a blind man, meaning; covering her face in his presence. End quote.

And Allaah knows best

Allah didn’t say an Allah damned thing about this stupid, bad Hadith.
And, I’m assuming they’d never heard of Roman hands and Russian fingers….ha

A Muslim asked a scholar

A friend of mine told me that wearing the modern under wear is not Hadith/sunnah. Is this true?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allaah.

Our shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Barraak answered this question as follows:

“Underwear and other types of clothing have to do with habits based on people’s traditions (‘urf), so long as they do not contradict the sharia.




Hold up. Sharia has a laughing law but it doesn’t have an underwear law. So this answer will probably be based on what someone said 1400 years ago… a dead guy said..

The wearing of pants (sirwaal) was known at the time of the Prophet because of the Hadith of Ibn ‘Umar concerning what the person in a state of ihraam for Hajj or ‘Umrah (that’s when they run around the Kabba in Mecca) is forbidden to wear: ‘The men should not wear a shirt or turban or pants…’



Kinky…but who does that every day?
There is nothing wrong with wearing underwear (halal) so long as it does not involve anything that is haram (forbidden), such as crosses or pictures of animate beings, or women wearing men’s clothes and vice versa.

What if the underwear had words that said… 
if you put crosses over pictures of animated beings, you can't see the picture....and the guy wearing them was blind, does that count?

A Muslim asks a scholar…..if it were me, I think I’d keep my stupids to myself, but he asks..

In a moment of anger, I was speaking to a friend of mine and he asked me what if I was given a third daughter? I said to him: If my wife gives birth to a third daughter, I will divorce her.

But I did not mean what I said. Does this count as a divorce (talaaq)?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allaah.

Your saying “If my wife gives birth to a third daughter, I will divorce her” -comes under the heading of promising to divorce in the future.

If she gave birth to a daughter but you did not divorce her, then nothing has happened.

This is confirmed by the fact that you did not mean what you said: you did not intend for a divorce to happen at that time and you did not make it conditional upon her giving birth to a daughter.

Uh yeah he did, read the question again, scholar.

But if you said, “If my wife gives birth to a third daughter then she is divorced,” then divorce takes place if she gives birth to a third girl.

Unbelievable!
First, if I were this guys wife I would buy back my vagina (divorce him-Nikkah) and then, use the money to hire 5 large men to go to the scholars house and cut all his dresses into mini-skirts. But that’s me.


The scholar finishes his made up advice with…

You should beware of using the words of divorce (talaaq) in ways other than that for which they were prescribed, namely ending a marital relationship when the husband decides to do that for reasons which make it permissible to divorce.

And Allah knows best.

He didn’t quote Allah. But I will, and I’ll smack em both

16:56 ‘…By Allah, ye shall certainly be called to account for your false inventions
holla schola

16:57 ‘…- and for themselves sons,- the issue they desire!

16:58 When news is brought to one of them, of the birth of a female child, his face darkens, and he is filled with inward grief!

16:59 With shame does he hide himself from his people, because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it on sufferance and contempt, or bury it in the dust? Ah! what an evil choice they decide on?

These verses were talking about a pagan tribe who thought females were a burden.  They wanted boys...who would probably grow up and die in a war.

81:8  When the female infant, buried alive, is questioned
81:9 For what crime she was killed

Allah told them they were not a burden and that Allah gives you daughters for a reason...they live longer.

13:8 Allah doth know what every female womb doth bear, by how much the wombs fall short of their time or number or do exceed. Every single thing is before His sight

42:49 ‘…Allah bestows children male or female according to His Will and Plan

And to those who believe….

4:124

If any do deeds of righteousness,- be they male or female - and have faith, they will enter Heaven, and not the least injustice will be done to them

And come back on Sunday :D
*

Dancing in the streets of Saudi Arabia..not a good idea

A group of Saudi teenagers got out of their car and started to dance in front of a key shopping mall in the conservative Gulf Kingdom a bid to impress female visitors. But instead of receiving applause, they got a smack.

With their heads wrapped by the traditional Saudi headgear, the boys triggered angry reactions from male shoppers, who attacked them and sparked a big fight before the eyes of the female onlookers, Kabar newspaper said on Tuesday.

The paper coupled its story with a video tape of the incident, showing the dancers were involved in the night fight in front of the mall in Riyadh.

“It was a big fight but in the end, these young men got a smack from the male shoppers amidst screams by the women,” it said





But fighting in a dress is not very lady-like.

In other news...

Kuwaiti policewomen outperform male counterparts

When you see women fighting, you’d better to stay away.

That was what Kuwaiti police said when an Iranian woman filed a complaint that a restaurant manager molested her while trying to end a female scuffle at his restaurant.

The unnamed woman said the manager surrounded her from the back and caught her body before starting to touch “sensitive parts” during her fight with another woman in the restaurant in Kuwait City, Alanba daily said on Tuesday.
But the manager, who was charged with molesting the Iranian lady, defended his act, saying he would not even think about it “in front of more than 20 women”.

The paper quoted the manager, whom it did not identify, as saying he intervened in the scuffle for the “customers’ safety and the restaurant’s reputation”.

“The Iranian woman’s complaint is a message to all men to stay away from female fights as this will push them into trouble,”

I feel a fatwa coming...

Interesting news stories from Saudi Arabia

Be sure it’s your wife or….

Scores of women joined her and the man, still under shock, leaned against the wall just to receive the blows and curses.

A Saudi man who wanted to joke with his wife in a crowded shopping mall got the shock of his life when she reacted with a big slap on the face. For the woman who he tapped on the back was not his wife.

But the woman did not stop there. She started to swear, lunged at him with more slaps and fists and yelled to other women in the mall to help her, the Saudi Arabic language daily Kabar reported on Wednesday.

Scores of women joined her and the man, still under shock, leaned against the wall just to receive the blows and curses.

The unidentified husband was looking for his wife in the mall in the Saudi capital Riyadh when he noticed one that has similar features from behind.

“He approached her, tapped her back and said ‘you still haven’t found the dress you want’….when she turned to face him, she was not his wife,” Kabar said.

“After he sobered up from the shock and the women calmed down, he phoned his wife, who rushed and told them that there was a mistake and that her husband is not that kind of a man….that woman then told him ‘well if you want to joke with your wife, do it at home not in the market.”

A Doctor needs a Doctor after he....

A doctor in Saudi Arabia was rewarded with a strong slap on his face by a Saudi husband who was infuriated when he saw the doctor touch his sick wife, the Arabic language daily Al Jazira reported Wednesday.

The doctor at Tawal Hospital in the Red Sea town of Jazan told police that he led the patient into the examination room and asked about her ailment.“She pointed to her waist…..when I put my hand on her waist to examine the woman, her husband rushed into the room and gave me a strong slap on my cheek,” the unidentified doctor told the newspaper.

“I ran away and complained to the hospital manager…while I was talking to him, the husband came rushing again and gave me another slap.”The paper said police remanded the man in custody and were investigating the incident.


He wore a dress and....

A Saudi man is to get 60 lashes with the whip after he was caught wearing a woman's dress while heading to attend a party, a local daily reported on Thursday.

The man, in his 20s, was seized by a security man who suspected him as he walked near a farm in the eastern town of Qateef, 'Alriyadh' daily said.

When he stopped the presumed woman, the guard was surprised to see that he was a man in a female gown and with make up on his face.

The court sentenced the man to five months in prison and 60 lashes for “imitating women", the Arabic language paper said

Man divorces wife for waking him up


A Saudi husband divorced his wife because she tried to wake him to go to work in the morning, the local daily Ajel reported on Sunday.

It was the third time that the 23-year-old man, who was not named, divorced his wife for the same reason in the first time and because of his noisy children in the second case, the paper said without mentioning where he lives.

“In the third case, his wife kept shaking him to wake him up so he will go to work in the morning…he got mad and divorced her instantly,” the paper said.

“When he was out of his madness fit, he regretted his act and went to her family’s house to restore her but they refused…he tried again and again but he was told that he would never see her again.”

Under Islam, husbands can divorce their wives by just saying the divorce words three times. Women can not do the same.

And my favorite

Lawyer wants jinn to testify in court

Says court should summon genie in corrupt judge case.

A Saudi defence lawyer has asked court to summon a jinn (genie) claimed to have possessed a judge who has been arrested on corruption charges, the Saudi Arabic language daily Okaz reported on Saturday.

The lawyer, Salim bin Atteyya, told court that the jinn must be present in court to testify in the case of the corrupt judge in Madina, Islam’s second holiest shrine after Makkah, the newspaper said.

“The case of the corrupt judge in Madina has taken a new turn and witnessed new developments as the lawyer of an absent defendant has asked court to summon the jinn to testify,” the paper said.

“If what the accused judge said about the jinn, then this jinn could be bad and blasphemous…this jinn could have been sent by a bad sorcerer because witchcraft is bad and non-Islamic.”

Okaz quoted the lawyer as saying he had made that demand on the grounds any sentence must not be based on “jinn’s allegations”, presented by an exorcist.

“This Raqi ( Koran reciter and exorcist) has not presented any real evidence that the accused judge has been possessed by jinn,” the lawyer said.

In a report on the case early this week, Okaz said the accused judge told court he was under a magic spell by jinn when he was involved in such practices.

The paper said the court summoned Fayez Al-Kathami, a well-known cleric and Raqi who is believed to have the powers of speaking to jinn.

It said the court summoned Kathami after the arrested judge said he was possessed by jinn through another defendant, who is a sorcerer.

Kathami told the judge later that he managed to "question" the jinn that had possessed the judge and would present a report to the court.

"The judge also asked me to question the jinn about all the offences committed by the accused judge and other defendant who is at large," Kathami said.

"The jinn told me all I want through the accused judge...I have written all what the jinn said about the judge's life and the other defendant....I will write a full report and present it to the court, proving this judge has been under a spell."

According to Okaz, the corrupt judge had told investigators that the other defendant had "taken control of his thoughts and made him rule on cases without being conscious of committing any illegal act."

It was a busy October for some Saudi's..and yes, these are all true stories.

I am the Az Zaqqum


 
I am the Az Zaqqum. I am the bitter tree from hell. It will be from the fruit of my tree that I will feed the dwellers of the hellfire…if I feel like it.


The Quran says the hellfire will be filled with Muslim men and Jinn. And they need to eat.

My name comes from the Quran as it can’t be found anywhere else. Muhammad saw me when he was flying on a strange donkey up to the heavens. He thought I was scary. I thought the donkey was scary.

I was created because of bad Muslim fathers who took the wrong path and their sons have been following in their footsteps.

Freaky Fatwa’s, mad Mullah, Imams with mamma issues. It’s bad. It’s all bad. And I’m not going to have enough fruit. Something had to be done.

After much discussion and thought, I have been ordained by the Jinn and Khadija to become the first Islamic Scholar for the Infidel. 

It's true.  I really am an Islamic Scholar...for the Infidel.  I believe every Non Muslim country needs one.  And as most Muslim countries are a mess maybe they need one even more.

You will never win a debate with a radical Muslim using logic or your laws. You can only win by using their own texts against them (and do try hard not laugh).

When a radical Muslim is demanding special rights, saying they feel oppressed living with the Infidels, you can remind them that the Quran tells them to move to a Muslim country, or go to hell. 4;97

The Hadith (stories of Muhammad) of Bukhari says that hell will be filled with women. But the Quran says;

11:119 “I will fill Hell with Jinns and men all together."

Much of the troubles we see today are due to the Hadiths of Bukhari
It’s almost his feeding time.

Eventually everyone in the hellfire gets hungry. They say the fruit of my tree is pungent and caustic and tastes like molten brass or scalding water. What do they expect; I’m a tree not a chef. Never the less, the dwellers of the hellfire drink it like diseased camels raging so it can’t be all that bad.

For entertainment, I can curse the cursed, though I’m not quite sure what the point of that is, but I can do it. I am all that is disagreeable. I am an ordeal.

And as my attributes already boast of my caustic and disagreeable nature, don’t expect me to be politically correct, just correct.

And to get rid of this fear of fatwa-itis, it should come as no surprise that the information I give to you will be in the first book ever written on The Humor of Islam…you’ll die laughing. The title is a twist on a Sharia law that forbids laughing too much, which made me laugh too much.

Allah did not forbid laughing. Radical Muslims who think angels are afraid of dogs did that, and if dogs scare them, wait till they get a load of me.

All radical Muslim violence has one thing in common; Sharia Law. And the foundation of Sharia law is Hadith. When Muslims start to populate a large area, they want Sharia Law and that will include Sharia courts.

They don’t want to actually use Sharia courts, especially the Muslim women, but they want them as a trophy to say; we won.

Sharia does not allow Muslims to use your courts- unless they can trick the Infidel under the guise of Political Correctness…which I’m going to toss under the camel. What you don’t know can hurt you. So maybe you should be asking the right questions.

Sharia is also the main cause of Fatwa-itis (fear of Fatwa--yes I made that word up) Radicals who think Allah is ignoring them use fatwa’s to feel potent because Sharia actually castrates the men...I blogged about it, just hit search.

As much of Sharia is manmade and contradicts the Quran, Sharia should be last thing any Muslim would want. Hell, even the dwellers of the hellfire don’t want Sharia!

The Quran says that of all the evils that Muslim men can do, the worst evil is to make humans partners with Allah. It’s called, Shirk. And Allah hates Shirk. Sharia law is Shirk. And those who enforce it are shirking. They do not believe that Allah knows best and they certainly don’t believe the Quran is complete. But they do believe in me.

Infidels are often accused of taking the Quran out of context. Why don’t they get upset when radical Muslims do the same? Allah doth not like-ith the Hypocrites, says that in the Quran.

As Sharia starts with Hadith, you need to read some Hadith. You might as well find out why it is important to know which foot to use as you enter a toilet. The Jinn are watching, and waiting.

Hadith are believed by nearly all of the 1.4 billion Muslims worldwide.

Crap, how much fruit do they think I have?

Hadith are stories of how Muhammad lived his life and how he received his revelations, all told by the people who knew him best, his companions. The real lesson of Hadith, choose your friends carefully, who knows what they’ll write when you’re dead.

Hadith unveils the mystery of why Muslim men should never cover their ankles. Hadith are the foundation of Islam.

And here is how it all started….

Narrated Abu Huraira:
I said, "O Allah's Apostle! I hear many Hadith (stories of Muhammad) from you but I forget them." He said, "Spread your covering sheet." I spread my sheet and he moved both his hands as if scooping something and emptied them in the sheet and said, "Wrap it." I wrapped it round my body, and since then I have never forgotten a single Hadith’
From this point on anything that Muhammad said or did was memorized or written down…or wrapped up in a sheetBut even back then hadith pissed people off.

Ibn Asakir;
Caliph Umar rebuked and then lashed Abu Huraira, and forbade him to narrate Hadith from the Holy Prophet. Umar said: "Because you narrate Hadith in large numbers from the Holy Prophet, you are fit only for attributing lies to him. That is what one expects a wicked man like you to utter only lies about the Holy Prophet. So you must stop narrating Hadith from the Prophet; otherwise, I will send you to the land of Dus." (A clan in Yemen, to which Abu Huraira belonged).

Abu Huraira defended himself saying that, I was a poor man serving Allah’s Prophet, just to be fed in return.
Umar was jealous of Abu Huraira because he spent so much time following Muhammad. But you have to wonder, was it food for thought or food for Hadith?
And we still have problems with Yemen…and with the Hadith of Abu Huraira.

Imam Abu Hanifa said;
The companions of the Prophet were generally pious and just. I accept every Hadith with evidence narrated by them, but I do not accept the Hadith whose source is Abu Huraira, Anas Ibn Malik, or Samra Bin Jundab."
Hanifa was born 67 years after Muhammad was killed, so he never met Muhammad. Hanifa was born in Iraq. Muhammad was not fond of Iraq.

Narrated Yusair bin 'Amr;
I asked Sahl bin Hunaif, "Did you hear the Prophet saying anything about Al-Khawarij?" He said, "I heard him saying while pointing his hand towards Iraq. "There will appear in it some people who will recite the Quran but it will not go beyond their throats, and they will leave Islam as an arrow darts through the game's body.
Interesting statement for these times, too.

This last Hadith would probably have been the most important of all the Hadith, had it been written...

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas;
When Allah's Apostle was on his death-bed and in the house there were some people among whom was 'Umar bin Al-Khattab, the Prophet said, "Come, let me write for you a statement after which you will not go astray."

'Umar said, "The Prophet is seriously ill and you have the Qur'an; so the Book of Allah is enough for us."

The people present in the house differed and quarreled. Some said. "Go near so that the Prophet may write for you a statement after which you will not go astray," while the others said as Umar said.

When they caused a hue and cry before the Prophet, Allah's Apostle said,
"Go away!"

Ibn 'Abbas used to say, "It was very unfortunate that Allah's Apostle was prevented from writing that statement for them because of their disagreement and noise."
I think Muhammad was going to tell them not to kill each other after he's dead and drop the bad Hadith.

The Prophet said;
Follow me as long as I live. But I advise you to stick to the book of God after I have died. Consider the things it commands you as Halal (allowed) and the things it forbids you as Haram (forbidden).

This is a Hadith, one that most Muslims don’t believe and do not follow. It’s not the only Hadith that tells Muslims not to follow Hadith. And the Quran says;

31: 6: But, there are among men those who patronize ridiculous Hadith without knowledge thereby misleading men from the Path of Allah and throwing a butt of mockery on the Path: for such there will be a humiliating Penalty."

And that’s where I, the Az Zaqqum step in. To challenge the ridiculous Hadith ‘a butt of mockery’ and a humiliating penalty for those who follow them’.

The Quran says. “We did not leave anything out of this book." (6:38)

60:7 It may be that Allah will grant love and friendship between you and those whom ye now hold as enemies. For Allah has power over all things; And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful
How often do you hear this verse?

17:60 And it was a warning when We told thee: Lo! thy Lord encompasseth mankind, and We appointed the vision which We showed thee as an ordeal for mankind, and the Accursed Tree in the Qur'an Az Zaqqum. We warn them, but it increaseth them in naught save gross impiety

37:62 Is that the better entertainment or the Tree of Zaqqum?

37;63 For We have truly made it as a trial for the wrongdoers.
37;64 For it is a tree that springs out of the bottom of Hell Fire:
44:43 Verily the tree of Zaqqum
44;44 Will be the food of the Sinful
44;45 Like molten brass; it will boil in their insides
44;46 Like the boiling of scalding water.
56;55 "Indeed ye shall drink like diseased camels raging with thirst!

And you thought I was kidding.

And the Words of Robert Crotch;

Oh to be a tree;
To feel my branches in the breeze,
To share my fruit with thee
And other lovely anomalies.

Oh to be a tree;
Our roots would intertwine,
Sharing joviality
As our fruits turn into wine.

Oh to be a tree;
Our skins as hard as steel,
Leaves all dancing merrily,
Like a golden catherine wheel.

Oh to be a tree,
In a forest of just two,
I'd be such a lonely tree,
If not for friends like you.

I am the Az Zaqqum Islamic Scholar for the Infidel.
I am an ordeal.  I am Female.

Can a Man Marry a Female Jinn? I Dream of Jinn-ee.


A Muslim asks a scholar

Can a man marry a female Jinn?

And the scholar replies
I had to chop down and combine the answer as it was too long and repetitive.
All praise be to Allah
Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah's Sake, meet your expectations.
My expectation… funny.

The question of whether a human may marry a Jinn is a controversial one.
Controversial…..Seriously?

There is no evidence from the Sharia that can be said to be authentic in that regard.
That is true. There isn’t a Sharia law that forbids marrying a Jinn.

The majority of jurists are of the opinion that such a marriage is not lawful, but some jurists consider it to be lawful. The first opinion is the more correct to follow.
Did they toss a coin?

According to a book on juristic rules marriage between a human and a Jinn is not lawful, for they are of different worlds.
So the answer is no?

It was said that Al-Hassan Al-Basri was of the opinion that such a marriage is lawful so long as there are witnesses to it.
So the answer is yes?

The more correct opinion to follow in this regard is that it is not lawful for a human being to marry a Jinn, for they are of different worlds.
So the answer is no?

An eminent Shafi`i scholar, wrote: ''Answering the question 'is it lawful for a human being to marry a Jinn?' Imad Ibn Yunus said, 'Yes.'”
So the answer is yes?

According to a Hanifi scholar, it is a lawful prohibition to marriage to another man or to a hermaphrodite, a polytheist woman, a closely related woman, or a female jinn.
So the answer is no?

But it was also reported that he did not believe it is lawful.
I think they enjoy screwing with people’s heads.

With all this controversy as to whether or not a man can marry a Jinn I thought I should give you some background on the world of Jinn.

So what is a Jinn?

The Jinn live in a parallel world with us. They eat and drink, they marry, have children and they die. The Jinn are very similar to humans, except they live longer, have special powers and can appear as real humans or animals, trees, aliens or fortune tellers.
Magicians like David Copperfield would be considered a Jewish Jinn.

Like Humans, they will also be subject to a Final Reckoning by Allah the Most High. They will be present with mankind on the Day of Judgment and will either go to Paradise or Hell.

Jinn were created before man and before Muhammad. Their food of choice is bones and poop. The Jinn live in holes in the ground in which you should never urinate.

Hadith of Dawood, (who was born 200 years after Muhammad was killed) said Abdullah ibn Sarjas said, “The Messenger of Allah forbade urination into a hole.”

Qatadah asked, “What is disliked about urinating into a hole?”
“It is the residence of the jinn.”
So there’s your proof.

How did Muhammad find out about the Jinn?

Bukhari (who was also born 200 years after the death of Muhammad, went to a dream interpreter who told him to go write the stories of Muhammad, the Hadith. The Hadith of Bukhari is considered the most reliable. Even though only 2500 of the 300,000 he collected are used..he says never go to a dream interpreter)

'Who informed the Prophet about the Jinn when they heard the Qur'an?' 
He said, 'A tree informed me about them’
Well, it wasn’t me.

Abu-Dawood’s Hadith
A deputation of the jinn came to the Prophet and said: O Muhammad, forbid your community to clean themselves with a bone or dung or charcoal, for in them Allah has provided sustenance for us. So the Prophet forbade them to do so.
And he obeyed the orders of the Jinn…according to Dawood…the idiot.
And here’s your proof.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah’s Messenger said: Don’t cleanse yourself with dung or with bones for that is the food of your brothers from amongst the Jinn.
Also, don’t poo or pee in a hole because a Jinn might live in that hole. On the other hand, if they eat poo what’s the big deal?

The Hadith say that the Jinn can have a physical body of some kind. Stars and meteors can harm them (Allah threw some at a few), and water can kill them, also.

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice.
Twice isn’t enough to kill them…though it might piss them off.

Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Apostle said, "When the call for prayer is made, Satan takes to his heels passing wind so that he may not hear the Adhan.
That must be one loud fart.

The Quran also says that the Jinn can be killed.

Allah will say: "Enter you in the company of nations who passed away before you, of men and jinns, into the Fire
If a jinn turns into a fly and is squashed – dead Jinn.
Then end up in hell like the men.

Tirmidhi
Allah's Messenger came out to his companions and recited a prayer from the beginning to the end, but the companions remained silent.

Thereupon he said: I recited this before the Jinn on the night of Jinn, and their response was better than that of yours.
What does this Hadith tell you?

Abu-Dawood’s Hadith
The Apostle of Allah said to me: Have the mugharribun been seen (or some other word) among you? I asked: What do the mugharribun mean? He replied: They are those in whom is a strain of the jinn.
And that’s backed up by this Hadith.

The Prophet commented on those who do so by saying, “Those who do so are ignorant.” If so is the case with animals, it is with greater reason that it also be the case with marriage between humans and jinns.
So you can marry a Jinn. And the prophet knew about inter human-jinn marriages and says’ it’s ignorant but not forbidden.

It was reported that some Yemeni people wrote to Imam Malik:
“A male jinni has come to us and proposed to marry a young (human) woman saying, ‘I seek to stick to the right path by this proposal.’”

Imam Malik answered, “I see that there is nothing wrong in doing so, but I dislike to expose this woman to a situation where she might be asked about her husband and she would answer, ‘It is a male Jinn.’ This may lead to corruption among Muslims.”
But what the hell let them marry anyway,  No one will notice the extra corruption.

The scholars continue

Procreation is a physical act requiring sexual intimacy and therefore presupposes that jinn have certain physical anatomy allowing them to propagate their race through intercourse. In light of this it should not come as a surprise to learn that there are male and female devils.

The Almighty asked: Will you then take him (Jinn) and his offspring as protectors and helpers?
Sounds like a choice to me.

Two interesting stories of Jinn snakes.

Abu Dawood
Muhammad ibn AbuYahya said that his father told that he and his companion went to AbuSa'id al-Khudri to pay a sick visit to him. The Apostle of Allah said: Some snakes are jinn; so when anyone sees one of them in his house, he should give it a warning three times. If it return (after that), he should kill it, for it is a devil
Hmm…snakes can’t hear words, just vibrations. Maybe Jinn snakes have ears.

Muwatta
...The snake stirred on the end of the spear and the youth fell dead. No one knew which of them died first, the snake or the youth. That was mentioned to the Messenger of Allah who said, "There are jinn in Madina who have become muslim. When you see one of them, call out to it for three days. If it appears after that, then kill it, for it is a shaytan."
I read that 3 times. I still don’t get it…except for some Muslims in Madina are Jinn.

But the scholars want to deal with the very important issues of Muslim men marrying a female Jinn. Mostly they need to know if he can control her.

But if we supposed that this might be lawful, would the man in this case have the right to oblige his Jinn wife to stick to home or not?
Well he could try but she might turn him into a chicken.

Suppose also that he would dislike to see her in a form other than the human one; would he have the right to prevent her from incarnating in other forms?
No. Like most women, you can’t control a woman’s nature. Just don’t piss her off. That’s true of Human females as well.

Also, would the conditions required in a valid marriage contract be required in this case, also?
For instance, would the Jinn’s guardian's approval be required? Would their marriage be acceptable according to the Jinn laws?
The Hadith above indicate the Jinn can marry Humans. But it doesn’t say they need anyone’s approval. And as far as conditions for a valid marriage contract, I doubt they’d mind using the Quranic law on contracts, 4 men or 2 men and 4 women….whatever the math is.

Suppose that once, he did not recognize her, for she was incarnating in a form different from that he usually sees her in, but she told him it was she. Would he believe her and thus could he make love to her?
So long as he had somewhere to ‘put it’ I doubt he’d care.

Would he also be required to provide her with food that the Jinn eat, such as bones and dung?
Only if he wants sex that night.

The supreme judge answered with this:
By comparison, marrying a female jinn may result in bringing forth a child having jinn characteristics.
Oh that’s so racist. The Hadith above shows not all Jinn are bad.

By analogy, we also find that it is prohibited to cross donkeys and horses, for this results in a hybrid different from horses, and this may, in turn, lead to the rarity of horses.
Uh, only if everyone on the planet did it.

If a human male was to marry a female jinn, the female jinn would count amongst being one of the four wives the male would be allowed to marry.
She could make the other 3 wives disappear…and him. I say it’s all good.

The Quran doesn’t forbid marrying a Jinn

4:23 Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters (eww), and your sisters, and your aunts paternal and maternal, and a brother's daughters, and a sister's daughters; and your milk-mothers, and your milk-sisters; and the mothers of your wives; and your step-daughters - who are your foster children - born of your wives with whom you have consummated your marriage; but if you have not consummated your marriage, you will incur no sin by marrying their daughters; and forbidden to you are the spouses of the sons who have sprung from your loins; and [you are forbidden] to have two sisters [as your wives] at one and the same time - but what is past is past: for, behold, God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace.
No Jinn mentioned of the; ‘who you are forbidden to marry’ list.
Just don’t marry your kin.

But there is this…

30:21 Allah Almighty says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect"
The words…’that ye may dwell in tranquility’, seems to open the door for those who might prefer to live on the wild side, who don’t reflect.

What about in heaven, anything about the Jinns in Heaven?

55:56 Wherein both will be those maidens restraining their glances upon their husbands, whom no man or jinn has opened their hymens with sexual intercourse before them.
So, single gals can have sex with the Jinn in heaven.

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to write back!
May Allah guide you to the straight path, and guide you to that which pleases Him, Amen.

Well I’m not sure about Allah but they sure entertained me.

Now for those of you who are scared poop-less (which could cause the Jinn to starve) that Sharia is creeping into the USA. You should be absolutely terrified, because the Jinn have been in the USA since the early 1960’s.

I dream of Jeanie. She was a Jinn. This video tells how she became a Jinn. You will also hear the name of Allah mentioned a few times…and no one freaked. This is the second episode and it’s quite interesting.

Here’s to Robert and Joffre and all you other guys who Dream of Jinn-ee


Watch I dream of jeannie ep 1.2 in Comedy  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

My conversations with Allah. Part 2. Allah takes it to the Hood


During my last conversation with Allah I asked if Muslims should follow the messenger or the message.

Allah was very clear – follow the message and I was impressed that Allah only used the Quran to answer my questions.


But I still have doubts. Most Muslims know more about Hadith, Sharia and fatwas than they know of the Quran.

As Allah already knows, I am an ordeal. So I thought I should ask a few follow up questions. Here is how our second conversation went….

Allah I read a lot of fatwas that come out of the Muslim countries of the Arabian deserts. They hardly ever base their advice on the Quran, and if they do, they only use part of an aya (verse) and then twist it to mean something completely different. But mostly they base their advice on Hadith. So I ask you Allah, what’s up with these guys? And btw, most of them wear dresses. What’s up with that?

And Allah replied

9:97 The Arabs of the desert are the worst in Unbelief and hypocrisy, and most fitted to be in ignorance of the command which Allah hath sent down to His Messenger. But Allah is All-knowing, All-Wise.

I knew if the message wasn’t in Arabic they wouldn’t understand it

41:44 Had We sent this as a Qur'an in the language other than Arabic, they would have said: "Why are not its verses explained in detail? What! A Book not in Arabic and a Messenger an Arab?"

26:198 And if We had revealed it unto one of any other nation than the Arabs

19:97 So have We made the Qur'an easy in thine own tongue, that with it thou mayest give Glad Tidings to the righteous, and warnings to people given to contention

44:58 Verily, We have made this Qur'an easy, in thy tongue, in order that they may give heed

And I told them repeatedly that the Quran is simple and easy to understand and remember..

54:17 And We have indeed made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember: then is there any that will receive admonition

54:22 But We have indeed made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember: then is there any that will receive admonition?

54:32 And We have indeed made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember: then is there any that will receive admonition?

54:40 And We have indeed made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember: then is there any that will receive admonition?

Could I have made that any clearer?

87:8 And We will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple Path.

I have told them the Quran is complete

15:1 These are the Ayats of Revelation, of a Qur'an that makes things clear.

I have told them not to follow Hadith

31:6: But, there are among men those who patronize ridiculous Hadith without knowledge thereby misleading men from the Path of Allah and throwing a butt of mockery on the Path: for such there will be a humiliating Penalty."

I have told them not to put one messenger above any other of my messengers.

2:285 The messenger believeth in that which hath been revealed unto him from his Lord and (so do) the believers. Each one believeth in Allah and His angels and His scriptures and His messengers--We make no distinction between any of His messengers--and they say: We hear, and we obey. (Grant us) Thy forgiveness, our Lord. Unto Thee is the journeying.

And I have told them that Muhammad was only the messenger and that the message is the Quran

64:12 obey Allah and obey His messenger; but if ye turn away, then the duty of Our messenger is only to convey the message plainly.

So what do you want from me?

Gee Allah, Adam Lambert asked the same question in a song. Not sure if he got an answer, either.

But here’s what I’m thinking Allah, could you drop the old Victorian English? You know, leave out the thees and the thous and just spit it out in today’s English? I get a lot of visitors from Islamabad and Saudi Arabia and I don’t think they understand Old English and I’m betting that most of them haven’t heard any of this.

And Allah said; Of course. I am the almighty, all knowing, all forgiving, most merciful and 95 other names of high praise and intelligence.

Which made me say….yeah, and I can curse the cursed so can we just get on with it, please?

Things got very quiet. For a moment I though Allah was going to pull a Joy Behar to O’Reilly and split, but then… Allah spoke…

Yo dawgs, word. Just because a dude drops you the 411 doesn’t mean you follow the dude to his crib and imitate everything he does or says, because that would be totally insane. Are you totally insane?

The message is always more important than the messenger. What if a messenger showed up without a message? Would you still follow him?

What if the messenger was the best of men and was handpicked by owners of his company because of his exceptional character? Would you copy his hair style or how he ate, or how he went to the toilet?  Get real!

Would you forget all about the message and just imitate the messenger? Are you that doped up?

Do a solid, follow the message. I put sweat into it. It’s my word. It’s tight. Don’t be disrespecting my Godly ass. And aaa, Ima getting pissed at how often homies take a few words of a sentence about wars of dead bro’s from back in the day and making my message sound like really bad gangsta rap. Fed up with all this out of context shit, ah-ight?

Hey Allah, I said, that was smooth! Except for the ‘yo dawg’ thing. That was a bit over the top.

And Allah replied;

Seriously??
Indeed you really are all things disagreeable.

The Tree of Zaqqum, a bitter and pungent tree described as growing at the bottom of Hell, a type of all that is disagreeable 37:62 to 37;64

Aw thanks Allah, just part of my charm. Compliments aside, what do you think of this fatwa?

A Muslim asks a scholar

Are you allowed to swallow your blood. I have read some fatwas that during Ramadan you are not allowed, but outside of Ramadan. For example if you get a paper cut or something, or a ripped lip?

And the scholar replies…

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for the Muslim to swallow blood, whether it is a little or a lot, in Ramadan or at other times, because blood is haraam, unless it is swallowed by mistake or involuntarily, in which case there is nothing wrong with it. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

2:173 He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.

And Allah said

Well Az, I see what you mean about using only part of an aya and twisting into meaning something completely different.

To make it clear, what I meant by blood was…don’t act like you’re on "True Blood". I did not make you into vampires or blood suckers.
The Jinn did that.

As far as that scholar and anyone who agrees with him, they will share in consequences of helping the spread of evil.

4:85 Whoever recommends and helps a good cause becomes a partner therein: And whoever recommends and helps an evil cause, shares in its burden: And Allah hath power over all things.

In simple terms if you get a paper cut, get a band aid. And if you’re getting ripped lips, shut up more often. Simple. Are we done?

Uh…what about the guys wearing dresses??

Allah?

Allaaah?

And that concluded our conversation for the night. We’re going to hook up again soon.

Until then, pray often, give in charity and be kind to one another….and use your Allah given brain.

Adam Lambert    "Whataya want from me?"