Friday Freaky Fatwa--Sex, moons and loons


A Muslim asks a scholar

Can the testimony of a woman be accepted with regard to sighting the new moon of Ramadan?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah

The fuqaha differed with regard to accepting the testimony of a woman with regard to sighting the new moon of Ramadan. There are two opinions:
and they are both fugaha’d up

1 – Her testimony may be accepted if it is cloudy.

Some differentiate between cloudy and clear weather.

But if the weather is clear then it is essential to have many people to testify to that.

See?
  fugaha’d up


2 –That it cannot be accepted. The sighting of the new moon, and the word of a woman cannot be accepted concerning that.
Now why is that??

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: Some scholars say that the testimony of a female cannot be accepted, either in Ramadan or at other times, because the one who saw the new moon at the time of the Messenger of Allah was a man.
Well I say that’s fugaha’d up

And Allaah knows best.
Allah didn’t fugah’d it up.

A Muslim asks a scholar

Are sea-shells considered to be among the bones which we are not permitted to use to clean ourselves after defecating?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen, who replied:

No, rather it is permissible to use them because of the Hadith,
“For you is every bone over which the name of Allah was pronounced when the animal was slaughtered.”
But you can use stones to wipe your butt and I doubt Allah’s name was pronounced over those.

And these shells are not slaughtered, so they are not like animals which we are permitted to eat, over which the name of Allah is pronounced at the time of slaughter, and the bones of which we are forbidden to use to clean ourselves after defecating, because they are the food of the Muslim jinn, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above.
The jinn eat poop, too!

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen

And Allah knows best.
Allah doesn’t mention how to clean a butt

A Muslim asks a scholar

Is it permissible for the husband to insert his finger into his wife's vagina and to fondle it during intercourse?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

I do not see any reason not to do that, so long as it is done with the left hand.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
But you use your left hand to clean your butt!  Stupid
fugaha’d up scholar


A Muslim asks a scholar
Is foreplay intercourse?  What is meant by intercourse?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

Not all kinds of foreplay are regarded as intercourse; rather intercourse is when the tip of the penis disappears fully into the vagina. If that happens, then intercourse has taken place; if no penetration occurs or if only part of the tip penetrates but not all of it, then this is not intercourse. This is what is indicated by the ahaadeeth:
Before this Hadith the desert Arabs had no idea what intercourse was…..really??

Narrated by Bukhari from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet said: “When a man sits between the four parts (arms and legs of his wife) and has intercourse with her, then ghusl is obligatory.”
I’m just going to assume they never heard of the missionary position…lol

The phrase translated as “[has intercourse with her]” is a metaphor for inserting the penis into the vagina.
Glad they cleared that up.  Some believe hair and elbows are genitals.

A Muslim asks a scholar

i am a hay fever sufferer. in summer my nose starts running. can i wipe my nose with a handkerchief whilst doing salaat? if i do not wipe my nose it may fall on the prayer mat/mosque carpet or my clothes and the people might be annoyed to see the water falling on the carpet.
And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah

You have to prevent this mucus from falling onto the carpets in the mosque, even if you have to put a cloth or handkerchief over your nose, lest you offend other people. Keep taking care of your nose by wiping it. We ask Allah to grant you healing soon.

Shaykh Waleed al-Firyaan
Sure hope you weren’t eating when you were reading that

The moral of the story, don’t let fatwas fugaha you up

Friday Freaky Fatwa--The Jinn Videos




A Muslim asks a scholar

Since epilepsy is caused by jinn, how do we explain the black woman who came to the Prophet asking for him to invoke Allah for her cure of her illness of epilepsy and coming uncovered, but there was no mention of jinn possession? Or is there a mistake in translation and it wasn't really epilepsy?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allaah.
Epilepsy in most cases is caused by the jinn, and in some cases by some defect in the body, brain or nerves, or mood swings, or some weakness in the physical structure. All of these may cause loss of consciousness or unbalanced behaviour. The black woman’s epilepsy may have been caused by the jinn, but there was no need to mention the cause, which is why the narrators only mentioned what needs to be done when epilepsy occurs, for whatever reason, of making du’aa’ and performing ruqyah, or bearing it with patience and seeking the reward from Allah.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
The hadeeth about the black woman is narrated in Bukhari and Muslim. In some versions of the hadeeth there is an indication that her epilepsy was caused by the jinn.
And in other versions it is not caused by the Jinn which more proof that you can't trust the hadith writers.  Hadith are not a sacred or protected text.

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: “It may be understood from some of the different versions of the hadeeth that what Umm Zafar was suffering from was the kind of epilepsy caused by the jinn and not that which results from dysfunction in the brain.”
Really?  And how would one know the difference?

For example, in a version narrated by al-Bazzaar, she said, “I am afraid that the evil one may cause me to become uncovered.”
oooh...I guess the Jinn epilepsy causes one to get naked....hmmm...

As regards treatment of one whose body has been entered by the jinn, Ibn Taymiyah said: “When the jinn attack a person, they should be told of the rulings of Allaah and His Messenger,
Allah said get out?  Does that work?

proof should be established against them, and they should be commanded to do what is good and told not to do what is evil, just as should be done in the case of people, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
17:15 And We never punish until We have sent a Messenger to give warning’.
Wrong verse as that's for unbelievers and we already know that some Jinn recite the Quran.

 Then he said: “If the jinn does not leave after being addressed in this manner, then it is permissible to rebuke him, tell him off, threaten him and curse him, as the Messenger of Allah did with the Shaytaan when he came with a falling star to throw it in his face, and the Messenger said: “I seek refuge with Allah from you and I curse you with the curse of Allah” – three times. (Narrated Bukhari of course).
This hadith suggests that Muhammad was either possessed by Jinn or had halucinations.  For you hadithians - can you really trust Bukhari?

Ibn Taymiyah explained the causes. He said: “When the jinn touch a person with epilepsy, it may be because of desire or love, just as happens between one human and another… or it may – as is usually the case – be because of hatred and punishment, such as when a person has harmed them or they think that he has harmed them deliberately, either by urinating on them or pouring hot water on them or killing them, even if the person did that unknowingly.
For those who don't know, Jinn live in holes and you should never pee or poo in a hole...cos ya might get epilepsy.  Which really doesn't make sense as Jinn eat poo.  I'd say that poo in a hole would be like home delivery.

There are ignorant and wrongdoing ones among the jinn who may punish a person more than he deserves, or they may be playing with him and mistreating him, like foolish people among mankind.”
So only foolish people get epilepsy?

2:102 '..but they could not thus harm anyone except by Allah’s Leave”,
this is undoubtedly a clear indication that the jinn cannot harm anyone through witchcraft or epilepsy or through any other kind of disturbance or misguidance, except with the permission of Allah

We may also seek help against the jinn by remembering Allah and reciting Quran, especially Aayat al-Kursi. The Prophet said: “Whoever recites it will remain under the protection of Allah and no shaytan (devil) will be able to approach him until the morning.” (Narrated by Bukhari..really).
But the Quran verse just said that 'they could not thus harm anyone except by Allah’s Leave'...?  The verse didn't say anything about what happens at night....Buky!

As for psychiatrists who do not treat the epileptic in the manner described, they cannot do him any good at all.
Well duh, a shrink can't fix epelipsy.  Stupid scholars

For those of you who still do not believe in the Jinn, here are 3 very interesting videos to prove.....something... I dunno....

Soccer player "dies" in the middle of a game. Location: Saudia Arabia. It's been said he lived and dies at the same time.



This clip was showed on a Geo TV channel in a morning transmission show and they have said that the video is genuine in which we can see a jinn offering prayers. Note that Jinns can be of any form Humans or Animals




This guy would scare the crap out of them all



I searched to see if a Jinn had made a porn flick but I guess the Jinn like to keep their sex life private...for now :)

My daily visitors...

At least once a day a veiwer from Mountain View, California arrives at my blog.

At least once a day a veiwer from Huntington Beach, California arrives at my blog.

This has been going on for several months.  Ima watching you as you watcha me.
So which one of us is more interesting?

Friday Freaky Fatwa--The Islamic evil eye, child marraige and hadith akbar


A Muslim asks a scholar
Can a man harm his beautiful wife with the “evil eye”?

If a man were to say to his wife that she looks beautiful should he always say mashaa’Allaah, or is this excessive?
And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:  well, we all know what firstly means…means they’re going to make something up….
Btw, you look beautiful mashaa Allah = you look beautiful, thank God!

The Hadith of Muslim says; the “evil eye” is real, as the Prophet said: “The evil eye is real and if anything were to overtake the divine decree it would be the evil eye.”
Ok, so what’s the evil eye?

Secondly:

The evil eye usually comes from people who are jealous or envious.
Got it, but what it is it?

Everyone who gives the evil eye is jealous, but not everyone who is jealous gives the evil eye… then he said: It begins when the person likes something, then his evil soul dwells on the matter, and by continually looking at the person who has the thing of which he feels jealous, he directs his venom towards him.
Does the evil soul also have an evil eye?

A person may put the evil eye on himself, or he may put the evil eye on someone else without intending to, because it is a part of his nature.
I’m thinking the scholar has an evil eyeball…or 2.  Still waiting to see what it is.

This is the worst type of human being. Our companions and others said: if someone is known for this, he should be detained by the imaam (leader), who should spend on him and provide for him until he dies. This idea is absolutely correct…
Ah, perhaps this explains all the bad advice!

In the hadeeth of Bukhaari it says, “I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from every devil and vermin and from every envious eye.”
But they want you seek refuge in Hadith..?

Thirdly:

Although it is correct that the evil eye comes from people who feel jealous, it may also come from a person who is not jealous but merely likes something, because of the hadeeth of Ibn al-Sunni in ‘Aml al-Yawm wa’l-Laylah, p. 168; and by al-Haakim, 4/216. Classed as by al-Albaani in al-Kalim al-Tayyib, 243.:
“Whoever among you sees something in himself or in his possessions or in his brother that he likes, let him pray for blessing for it, because the evil eye is real.”
Well, if all those guys say it’s real it’s probably fake.

This hadeeth explains that a person may harm himself or his wealth – and no one feels jealous of himself – but he may harm himself with the evil eye by admiring himself, so it is even more possible that he may harm his wife in the same way.
What??  Sounds more like a stupid eye not an evil eye.

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

And a man may put the evil eye on himself.
But only if he wants the imam to support him till he dies.

Fourthly:

a man may harm his wife with the evil eye by looking at her and noticing her beauty and admiring her, even if he does not actually say to her “You are beautiful.” It is mustahabb for him to say, “O Allah, bless her.”
Because Allah loves it when humans give orders.

It was reported from (here we go again) Abu Umaamah ibn Sahl ibn Hunayf that his father told him that the Messenger of Allah went out and they travelled with him towards Makkah until they reached Shi’b al-Khazzaar in al-Juhfah.

Sahl ibn Hunayf washed himself, and he was a white man with a handsome body and skin. ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah, the brother of Bani ‘Udayy ibn Ka’b, looked at him when he was washing, and said, “I have never seen anything like this, not even the skin of a virgin in seclusion!” (this was a metaphor for the intense whiteness of his skin). Then Sahl suffered a seizure (an epileptic fit, in which he fell to the ground).

He was brought to the Messenger and it was said, “O Messenger of Allah, do you know what has happened to Sahl?  By Allah, he cannot raise his head and he will not wake up.”
He said, “Do you accuse anyone with regard to him?”
They said, “‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah looked at him.” So the Messenger called ‘Aamir and spoke angrily with him, saying, “Would any of you like to kill his brother? If you see something that you like, why do you not pray for blessing for it?”
Then he said to him (‘Aamir), “Do ghusl for him.” So he washed his face, hands, elbows, the soles of his feet and inside his izaar (lower garment) from a vessel, then that water was poured over him – a man poured it over his head and back from behind, tilting the vessel. This was done to him, then Sahl went on with the people and there was nothing wrong with him.
I know.  What a dumb-assed story!  If a guy Aamir ibn Rabee’ah looks at your white ass—run!

Fifthly:  seriously?  Fifthly??

18:39. “It was better for you to say, when you entered your garden: ‘That which Allaah wills will come to pass! There is no power but with Allah!’
And Hadith!  Don’t forget Hadith!

But this is not evidence, because the subject of the verse has nothing to do with envy; in fact, Allah destroyed his garden because of his kufr and transgression.
Then why post it?  Hmm…I feel a Hadith coming on…

The Hadith in question was reported from Anas ibn Maalik, saying that the Messenger said, “Whoever sees something that he likes, and says, ‘Ma sha Allaah laa quwwata illa Billaah’, the evil eye will not affect him.” But this Hadith is very weak!
Ha!  A verse from the Quran that doesn’t apply, a Hadith that is weak/fake and still no explanation of the evil eyeballs….well, there’s 3 minutes that I won’t get back.

And Allah knows best.
I guess if that was really true then Allah would have explained the evil eyeball in the Quran…unless of course, it was all made up.

If you read this sentence then I have just given you the evil eyeball!

A Muslim asks a scholar

I would like to know whether there is a set age for marriage in Islam for men and women?
I hope you can explain with reference to the Qur’aan and not weak hadeeths.
And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

Islam does not give a specific age for marriage, either for the husband or for the wife. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

65:4 “And for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt, their period (of waiting) shall be three months, along with those who have it not”
2 surprises.  1st.  This time when they used the word ‘Firstly’ they actually followed that word with a quote from the Quran which is highly unusual.
2nd. The verse they used was about divorce not marriage.  Fail

Al-Sa‘di said: “along with those who have it [menses] not” means minors, those who have not yet started to menstruate. Adult women who have never menstruated at all are like those who “despair of menstruation” (i.e., have passed menopause); their ‘iddah is three months. End quote.
Hmm…those who have it not…that could be talking about those who have not yet ‘despair of menstruation’.

The Prophet married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old and the marriage was consummated when she was nine years old. Narrated by al-Bukhaari
But you guys aren’t prophets.  And really, who can trust what Buky wrote?

Ibn Qudaamah said:

With regard to females, the father may give his minor, virgin daughter who has not yet reached the age of nine in marriage, and there is no difference of opinion concerning that, if he gives her in marriage to someone who is compatible. Ibn al-Mundhir said: All of those scholars from whom we acquired knowledge unanimously agreed that it is permissible for a father to give his minor daughter in marriage if he arranges her to someone who is compatible, and it is permissible for him to do that even if she is reluctant. End quote.
Open damn quote.  Do you think you’re all 7th century desert Arabs running around screwing kids?  That you can figure out how to run a computer but not figure out that screwing a kid has been proven to be medically harmful to her?  Google that…frickin idiots.

Secondly: ugh, firstly near made me puke

No one may give a minor daughter in marriage except her father according to the view of Maalik and Ahmad. This was also the view of al-Shaafa‘i, but he regarded the grandfather as being like the father in that regard. Abu Haneefah said – and it was also narrated from Ahmad – that it is permissible for a guardian other than the father to give (the minor girl) in marriage, but the more correct view is the former one.
To civilized people this is considered child sexual abuse and an abuse of human rights.  The question was simple, at what age can a WOMAN marry, he isn’t interested in marrying a girl!  Yet the perverted scholar is pushing 9 years olds on this man?

Thirdly: ah crap..a thirdly

The father should not give a minor daughter in marriage except in a case where he thinks it is in her best interests. Just as he may only dispose of her wealth in that which is in her best interests, the same applies with regard to arranging her marriage. Islam only permits that to the Muslim father who is pious and pays proper attention to the best interests of his children, and who understands very well that he is a shepherd and that he is responsible for his flock.
Listen.  Any grown man who wants to marry a 9 year old is not pious or right in the head.  He needs to be locked up.  Any scholar who advises such should be seen as a criminal.

Ibn Wahb narrated that Maalik said, with regard to a man arranging a marriage for an orphan girl under his care: If he thinks that (the husband) is a man of virtue, righteousness and wisdom, it is permissible for him to do that.
And here’s the question again
I would like to know whether there is a set age for marriage in Islam for men and women?
I hope you can explain with reference to the Qur’aan and not weak hadeeths.
Here’s the correct answer.  Women can marry when they reach the age when they can vote.  If they can’t vote, they can’t marry.  Kids cannot legally enter into a contract.  9 year olds girls are not women.  I have heard the argument that if she bleeds she breeds.  Which is like saying, if a 9 year old boy can get an erection he’s ready to marry.  Not even the perverted scholars would say that’s correct as the 9 year old boy isn’t ready to earn a living and be man of the house.  A 9 year old girl would not make a good wife.  They just want an excuse to have sex with a child and that’s wrong, gross, and only like minded perverts would support this crap.
Has anyone else noticed that they’ve not once said what the age of a man should be for marriage?

Fourthly:  a fourthly…really??  I think they did enough damage with firstly.

A man should not consummate marriage with his young bride until she is physically able to bear intercourse. This varies from one time, place and environment to another.
And who decides this, the pervert child marrying pious husband?  The word pious certainly needs to be re-defined!

What young men and guardians of girls should do is hasten to arrange marriages, so as to guard chastity and protect honour, and so as to attain the great purposes for which Allah ordained marriage.
And it’s an honour to want to marry a child?  Is it any wonder that the words Muslim and Islam are now seen as dirty words?

And Allah knows best.
Allah is sending you all to hell!
and I’ll be waiting…..

A Muslim asks a scholar

Is it appropriate to add the "thank you" to "No, thank you" when offered something haraam? For instance, if someone were to offer me a glass of wine can I say no thank you or should I firmly say no

And the scholar replies

Praise be to scholars

In order to prove how intolerant Muslims are, and to show everyone how little we respect others, we would like to further the disgust of all non Muslims so that they dislike you to the fullest.  And we hope that you continue the tradition of; backward, 7th century acting, imitators of the dead, Hadith following barbaric fools.  Insha scholar we hope that you do this with all the arrogance and hate of the sacred Hadith. 

The sitting committee of bushy faced, dress wearing, fat, Hadith loving fatwa fools said;

If you are offered a glass of wine in kindness you are to respond with arrogant anger and disgust.  Scream out as loud as you can; NO YOU STUPID NICE PERSON!!   I WOULD NEVER WANT KINDNESS FROM YOU--EVER!!  SCHOLAR AND HADITH AKBAR!!

Never thank them as that might cause friendship and friendship could lead to prosperity and you’ve read our fatwas on prosperity and how we do not like it.  A poor, uneducated Muslim is an angry Muslim and that’s how most of the companions were and we should all strive to imitate them.

 And the scholars know best.

Friday Freaky Fatwa--The Islamic way to eat a bug


A Muslim asks a scholar
What is the ruling on eating insects, vermin and rodents?
And the scholar replies
Praise be to Allah.

Al-Nawawi said:

According to the scholars, the vermin of the earth such as snakes, scorpions, dung beetles, cockroaches, rats etc., are forbidden.

These are things which the Arabs find repulsive. And they quote as evidence the Hadith of Bukhari.  The Prophet said: “There are five animals, all of which are evil and should be killed in Mekkah: crows, kites [a kind of bird], scorpions, rats and vicious dogs.”
And
 It was narrated from Bukhari from Umm Shurayk that the Prophet commanded the killing of lizards.
With regard to the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

6:145 “Say (O Muhammad): ‘I find not in that which has been revealed to me anything forbidden to be eaten by one who wishes to eat it, unless it be a dead animal or blood poured forth by slaughtering or the like, or the flesh of swine; for that surely, is impure or impious, unlawful meat of an animal which is slaughtered as a sacrifice for others than Allah or has been slaughtered for idols, or on which Allah’s Name has not been mentioned while slaughtering.”
Hmm….did Allah forget to mention lizards, crows, scorpions, etc.??   And if Allah did forget, can humans forbid what Allah has not?  Let’s see….

6:150  Say: "Bring forward your witnesses to prove that Allah did forbid so and so." If they bring such witnesses, be not thou amongst them: Nor follow thou the vain desires of such as treat our signs as falsehoods, and such as believe not in the Hereafter: for they hold others as equal with their Guardian-Lord

16:116 But say not - for any false thing that your tongues may put forth,- "This is lawful, and this is forbidden," so as to ascribe false things to Allah. For those who ascribe false things to Allah, will never prosper
Well now, how are your Sharia run countries doing?  Are they prosperous?  No?  Then quit making Hadith above Quran.

And Allah knows best.
And Allah says you’ll stay broke assd if you keep forbidding what Allah has not.

A Muslim asks a scholar

Is it permissible to eat a type of bird that exist in Medina; that has several names ‘Myna’ is its most famous name. It is a brown bird that has a yellow beak, and has a yellow spot around its eyes.
And the scholar replies
Praise be to Allah.

Mynah is the name of several types of birds of the starling type which are native to India, Burma and other parts of Asia. These birds feed on plants, insects and worms.

It is permissible to eat this kind of bird because there is nothing to indicate that it is forbidden. That is because the basic principle is that all birds are halaal, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

6:145 “Say (O Muhammad ): I find not in that which has been revealed to me anything forbidden to be eaten by one who wishes to eat it, unless it be a dead animal or blood poured forth by slaughtering or the like, or the flesh of swine (pork); for that surely, is impure or impious, unlawful meat of an animal which is slaughtered as a sacrifice for others than Allah or has been slaughtered for idols, or on which Allah’s Name has not been mentioned while slaughtering. But whosoever is forced by necessity without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits; (for him) certainly, your Lord is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
Well they used the same verse, there are others.  Maybe they haven’t read the entire Quran.  And when I look at that last line, it seems if you’re really hungry you could eat a lizard or a Myna bird.  I hear they both taste like chicken.

Excluded from that is that for which there is evidence that it is forbidden; and based on the evidence there are four such types:
Really?  The verses they quoted were pretty specific and it’s repeated half a dozen times.  I guess Allah thought they all had attention deficit as so many things are repeated.  But it will be fun to see what they made up….

Birds which have talons with which they catch prey, because of the report narrated by Muslim from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said: The Messenger of Allah forbade every wild animal with fangs and every bird with talons.
Muslim seems to believe that Abbaas believed that the messenger could forbid what Allah had not.  Think that’s true?

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: What is meant by talons here is not the thing [spur] that protrudes from the leg of the rooster; that is a talon but it does not catch prey with it.
I take it he’s never seen a pissed off rooster.  They use all their parts.  But even Uthaymeen cannot forbid what Allah has not.  Right, it’s his feeding time soon.

The Hanafis, Shaafa’is and Hanbalis are agreed that it is forbidden to eat large black crows and speckled crows, which are both types that usually eat only carrion, so they are abhorrent to those of a sound nature. This type also include vultures, because they only eat carrion, even though they do not have talons with which they catch prey. End quote.
Oh, I guess it’s a good thing that we have all these humans to correct Allah and I’m sure Allah appreciates it….come to think of it, isn’t that why Allah made the Az Zaqqum to feed the dwellers of the hellfire all that bitter fruit.  I should ask for a raise.

That which is off-putting, such as bats. There is a difference of opinion among the scholars as to what constitutes off-putting, which there is no room to discuss here.
Come on admit it, that der’s funny! 
And it’s good to know that Batman is safe, though not too sure about Robin….

Because of the story Dawood narrated by Abu Dawood and Ibn Majaah from Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: The Messenger of Allah forbade killing four kinds of animals: ants, bees, hoopoes and sparrow-hawks.
Ants, birds and bees are animals?  Oh Abu!  This is why you shouldn’t make up silly stories.  Trees like me will laugh at you and you’ll be last in line for bitter fruit.

Everything apart from that is permissible in principle.
What about spiders?  Just asking….

Note; farm crows have red beaks and feet. Or it was said that farm crows are large and black.
Translation; these scholars have no frickin clue.

And Allah knows best.
If that was really true, then why do they make stuff up?

A Muslim asks a scholar

What is the ruling on eating snails? Bear in mind that preparing snails dish requires cooking them alive! Were snails used as food during the era of prophet Muhammad peace be upon him?
And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah. The prophet Muhammad did not use a computer

With regard to the ruling on eating snails:

Land snails come under the ruling on eating “insects”. The majority of scholars are of the view that it is forbidden.
Really?  They left that out when talking about scorpions, bats and cockroaches.  I guess forbidding what bugs to eat is complicated.

It is not permissible to eat land snails or any other “insects and vermin”, such as geckos, cockroaches, ants, bees, flies, wasps, worms, lice, fleas, bedbugs, mosquitoes or anything else of that type.
EEEK!  I can’t believe they had to be told not to eat bed bugs!

The Maalikis did not stipulate that a creature which has no flowing blood should be slaughtered, rather they included it under the same ruling as locusts, and its slaughter is by boiling, roasting, or piercing it with a stick or needle until it is dead, whilst saying the name of Allah over it.
Boiled locust….yeah, I’ll pass on that

Maalik was asked about something in the Maghreb in North Africa which is called a snail, that is found in the desert on the trees – can it be eaten? He said: I think it is like the locust. If it is taken alive and boiled or roasted, I do not think there is anything wrong with eating it, but if it is found dead, it should not be eaten. End quote.
Well sure, everyone knows that snails can jump high and fly-- just like a locust. 

Bukhaari narrated from Shurayh, the companion of the Prophet, that he said: “Everything in the sea is slaughtered.”
I have an interesting blog on eating mermaids, go to the top left and type in the word mermaid.  You can freak out later
J

But we have not seen any hadeeth which suggests that the Prophet ate snails.
I doubt he ate mermaids, either but there’s a fatwa on eating them.  But how annoying to be forced to only do what the 7th century Arabs said Muhammad might or might not of done?  When the Quran says to follow the prophet, it did not mean imitate him, it meant follow his message, and what was that?  The Quran.

And Allaah knows best.
Translation; tell these hadithan scholars to go eat snails…and bats.

A Muslim asks a scholar
Is it permissible to kill insects that may be found in the house, such as ants, cockroaches and the like, by burning them? If it is not permissible, what should we do?

And the scholar replies
If these insects are harmful, they may be killed with insecticides, but not with fire.
The Messenger said: “There are five pests that may be killed: rats, scorpions, crows, kites [a hawk-like bird], and mad dogs.” Another report adds a sixth, snakes. Thus the Prophet told us that they are harmful pests, and that they are unlike other animals which do not do harm, and so he told us to kill them. If other creatures, such as ants or cockroaches or dung-beetles, cause harm, they may also be killed with insecticides, but not with fire.
Shouldn’t the scholar have said; insecticides were not used by the messenger and don’t imitate the infidel or you’ll become one?  They pick and chose when they want to imitate infidels.

And Allah knows best.
which is why Allah put a penalty of hellfire for those who use Hadith.
 
31;6
Wamina alnnasi man yashtaree lahwa alhadeethi liyudilla AAan sabeeli Allahi bighayri AAilmin wayattakhithaha huzuwan olaika lahum AAathabun muheenun


Az Zaqqum Islamic scholar for the infidel. 
That means you can trust me
J