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Friday Freaky Fatwa--Sex, moons and loons


A Muslim asks a scholar

Can the testimony of a woman be accepted with regard to sighting the new moon of Ramadan?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah

The fuqaha differed with regard to accepting the testimony of a woman with regard to sighting the new moon of Ramadan. There are two opinions:
and they are both fugaha’d up

1 – Her testimony may be accepted if it is cloudy.

Some differentiate between cloudy and clear weather.

But if the weather is clear then it is essential to have many people to testify to that.

See?
  fugaha’d up


2 –That it cannot be accepted. The sighting of the new moon, and the word of a woman cannot be accepted concerning that.
Now why is that??

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: Some scholars say that the testimony of a female cannot be accepted, either in Ramadan or at other times, because the one who saw the new moon at the time of the Messenger of Allah was a man.
Well I say that’s fugaha’d up

And Allaah knows best.
Allah didn’t fugah’d it up.

A Muslim asks a scholar

Are sea-shells considered to be among the bones which we are not permitted to use to clean ourselves after defecating?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen, who replied:

No, rather it is permissible to use them because of the Hadith,
“For you is every bone over which the name of Allah was pronounced when the animal was slaughtered.”
But you can use stones to wipe your butt and I doubt Allah’s name was pronounced over those.

And these shells are not slaughtered, so they are not like animals which we are permitted to eat, over which the name of Allah is pronounced at the time of slaughter, and the bones of which we are forbidden to use to clean ourselves after defecating, because they are the food of the Muslim jinn, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above.
The jinn eat poop, too!

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen

And Allah knows best.
Allah doesn’t mention how to clean a butt

A Muslim asks a scholar

Is it permissible for the husband to insert his finger into his wife's vagina and to fondle it during intercourse?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

I do not see any reason not to do that, so long as it is done with the left hand.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
But you use your left hand to clean your butt!  Stupid
fugaha’d up scholar


A Muslim asks a scholar
Is foreplay intercourse?  What is meant by intercourse?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

Not all kinds of foreplay are regarded as intercourse; rather intercourse is when the tip of the penis disappears fully into the vagina. If that happens, then intercourse has taken place; if no penetration occurs or if only part of the tip penetrates but not all of it, then this is not intercourse. This is what is indicated by the ahaadeeth:
Before this Hadith the desert Arabs had no idea what intercourse was…..really??

Narrated by Bukhari from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet said: “When a man sits between the four parts (arms and legs of his wife) and has intercourse with her, then ghusl is obligatory.”
I’m just going to assume they never heard of the missionary position…lol

The phrase translated as “[has intercourse with her]” is a metaphor for inserting the penis into the vagina.
Glad they cleared that up.  Some believe hair and elbows are genitals.

A Muslim asks a scholar

i am a hay fever sufferer. in summer my nose starts running. can i wipe my nose with a handkerchief whilst doing salaat? if i do not wipe my nose it may fall on the prayer mat/mosque carpet or my clothes and the people might be annoyed to see the water falling on the carpet.
And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah

You have to prevent this mucus from falling onto the carpets in the mosque, even if you have to put a cloth or handkerchief over your nose, lest you offend other people. Keep taking care of your nose by wiping it. We ask Allah to grant you healing soon.

Shaykh Waleed al-Firyaan
Sure hope you weren’t eating when you were reading that

The moral of the story, don’t let fatwas fugaha you up
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