Some I found, some I made up. I’m not saying that they are Muslim jokes or Islamic jokes. Simply put, they are what I imagine to be pick up lines for the desert Arabs.
And they shouldn’t be seen as offensive as there is a bit of truth in all of them, which makes them allowable under standards of Hadith. A joke must have some truth.
And I’m not suggesting that Arab men use these one liners to pick up women, as I believe many Arab men should stay single and not reproduce. That and your parents have already decided you should marry your cousin.
So here we go....
I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.
I must be a Saudi Prince - one look at you and I have a gusher in my pants.
Are you a shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "Shiite, She aiight."
The sight of you made me lose my wudu
I can make your hair feel soooo good!
Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Medina.
Baby you can drive my camel…but not my car as that’s illegal.
Our parents engaged us when we were little. They must have forgotten to tell you
I promise you the tent of your dreams.
Your father must be a terrorist, because you're da bomb!
It will be hard to beat anyone more beautiful than you - and I mean beat literally.
Nice ankles, very nice.
You are more beautiful than my camel
So what time does a huri *heavenly companion* like you have to be back in paradise? Got time for a quickie muta *temporary* marriage?
I can tell by your feet that you will make good wife and bear me many children.
I have a convertible camel
My goat died, so I'm available.
When you bend over - you remind me of my sister.
I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam.
I just saw strands of your hair, now you have to marry me.
I just saw strands of your hair, are you a hooker?
Can you text me your wali's (guardian) phone number?
I can make you very happy, I have many goats.
You must be a Jinn because you are making my private part grow
Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
Would you like to come up and see my collection of Bukhari's?
Let’s get married so I don’t have to lower my gaze every time you walk in the room
I've had to fast every day since the day that I first saw you.
That hijab really compliments your eyes
That's a nice burka. Can I talk you out of it?
Sister, is your hijab naturally blonde?
Would you like to help me wake up for Morning Prayer?
Whenever I see your one eye… my knees get weak.
You make me realize why we're asked to lower our gaze
Would you like to share my prayer-mat?
You remind me of the Ka'aba. I can walk around you all day long.
I see praying five times a day has paid off.
You are the reason why hijab was mandated.
I love the way your burqa flows when you walk
I'm not staring, I'm just enjoying my first and only allowed look.
Your feet made me lower my gaze.
You must be the Buraq, because I wanna ride you all the way to heaven.
I'm the guy you've been praying five times a day for.
If you don’t marry me then someone worse will come along
My father wants me to marry you so he can see your adornments.
And on our wedding night I will be so gentle with your elbows
No, this is not a bomb in my pocket. I am just happy to see you!
I would tell you a good joke but we’d be arrested for laughing too much.
I know you are only 8 and a half, but you’ll be a woman soon
Alright, so you don’t want to date me. Can I suckle your breast so I won’t look at you as marriage material?