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Warning---Muslim jokes

Insha Allah, One day everyone will be a Muslim and we won't have to terrorize anyone.

The best way to cure stereotypes is through laughter and as laughter kills fear, let’s have a laugh. The following are Muslim jokes. This is NOT an ‘attack’ on Islam, it’s all about the crazy Muslims who follow the companions of Muhammad, Sharia and Islamic Scholars, also known in the Quran as; the worst of the worst.

How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Reports say the stench from the thousands of bodies in Pakistan is unbearable. Police report that it's likely to get worse now that there are dead ones.

What can Saudi Arabia do to raise the average IQ in the country?
Allow Jews to come in.

What's the difference between Dar al-islam and Dannon yogurt?
The yogurt has a living culture

What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

What's the difference between ET and Muslims?
ET got the point and went home

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?
Because it's set in the future

A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant for an inflatable doll.
"Would you like male or female?"
"Female, please.""Would you like Black or White?"
"White, please."
"Would you like Christian or Muslim?"
This question confused the man, so he asked, "What has the religion got to do with it? It's aninflatable doll!"
"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blowsitself up"

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A pimp.

How do Muslims practice safe sex?
They mark the camels that kick.

What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
Nothing, yet.

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?”
She replied,“Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”
Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

News story
SANAA (AFP) – Thousands of Yemeni women, their faces covered in religious veils, demonstrated outside the parliament on Sunday to oppose proposed legislation banning the marriage of girls under 17. Last year a child marriage case in Yemen made international headlines after a 12-year-old girl died in childbirth, together with the baby. “It is unreasonable to marry our daughters at the age of eight or nine. This is a serious problem,”
The protesters held up banners proclaiming “don’t ban what Allah made permissible,” or “stop violating Islamic sharia law in the name of rights and freedoms. Answering calls by Muslim clerics who oppose the proposal on grounds it goes against Islamic sharia law, the protesters arrived in organised buses. “We consider those who call for limiting marriage age by law as enemies of Allah, his prophet and us”

According to sharia law, jokes most be based on truth..so...

Sudan- After being caught having sex with a neighbors goat, the community decided the man should pay the owner 15,000 dinars ($50) and be forced to marry the goat as he treated the goat like a wife. As far as anyone knows, he and the goat are still together.
That’s so baaaaad
Cowboys and Muslims

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East ..

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, 'At one time here... my people were many... but sadly, now we are few.'

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,
'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'

The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . . .

'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

I know...not politically correct :D

In other news

A Pakistani official has been rejected as ambassador to Saudi Arabia because his name, Akbar Zib, translates as 'biggest cock' in Arabic. Akbar is a common Muslim name that translates to "the greatest", and Zeb in Arabic is a slang word for the male organ.

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