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Friday's Freaky Fatwa What can invalidate prayers?

A Muslims asks a Scholar....
Is there a set number of things that invalidate the prayer? I hope that you can explain that if so.
And the Scholar answers....

There are 15 things that can make your prayers invalid.

1- Presence of najaasah (impurity) on one's body or clothes, or in the place where one is praying. If he notices it or remembers it during the prayer and removes it immediately, then his prayer is valid. Similarly, if he does not find out about it until after the prayer is over, his prayer is still valid.
Just....don't look
2- Breaking wind or eating camel meat.
Especially if you do both at the same time.

3- Deliberately speaking. If one speaks by mistake or out of ignorance of the ruling, the prayer is not invalidated
What if the guy in front breaks wind from eating camel meat?
4- Deliberately saying the salaam before completing the prayer.
Salaam is the Arabic word for Peace. Wouldn't want to say that word before prayer....whaaaat?

5- Deliberately changing the meaning whilst reciting
Did I mention the prayers had to be said in Arabic?

6- Deliberately omitting one of the obligatory parts of prayer, such as the first tashahhud. But if a person forgets, his prayer is valid but he must do the prostration of forgetfulness
What if he forgets?

7- Omitting one of the pillars (essential parts) of the prayer, such as bowing and prostration.
What if you have a bad back?

8- Uncovering the ‘awrah' (nakedness) deliberately. But if it is uncovered by accident and what is uncovered is only a little, or if a lot becomes uncovered but he covers it immediately, then the prayer is not invalidated.
Like a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.

9- Turning away from the kiblah (Saudi Arabia) to a large extent.
Pray in Arabic towards the Arabs as it gives them power..

10- Excessive continuous movement during the prayer for no essential reason.
As it might expose your ass, sorry, awrah.

11- Deliberately doing an extra pillar, such as bowing.
As your head might hit the butt of the guy in front of you and cause him excessive movement.

12- Deliberately doing some pillars before others.
The choreography must be perfect.

13- Deciding to stop praying.
If you don’t pray, your prayer won’t be accepted.

14- Eating and drinking.
They don’t want you choking during prayer. It would upset the choreography.

15- Laughing out loud.
Laughing could get you killed and that would make your prayer invalid. Merely smiling does not invalidate the prayer. Seriously.

And Allaah knows best.....maybe, but I'm not sure about Muslim scholars
As none of this is from the Quran I thought it would be ok to insert my own comments.

7:31 (Picktall) O Children of Adam! Look to your adornment at every place of worship, and eat and drink, but be not prodigal. Lo! He loveth not the prodigals
Prodigals are un-cool*
The Humor of Islam http://www.thehumorofislam.com/
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