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Friday's Freaky Fatwa-- Hairy Sex

Why do some women convert/revert to Islam?
Perhaps they believe Muslim hair has orgasms. The hair of a Muslim woman is considered part of her ‘awrah’.

The Encyclopedia of Islam defines ‘awrah’ (pudendum) as “the external genitals, especially of the female“. Often used in the plural. Because of this belief, women are severely restricted in fear that they will cause illegal sex….and her hair may have an accidental orgasm.

Sharia law insists that Muslims pray 5 times a day and to wash themselves completely before each prayer, if they had sex. Either Muslims are having crazy ‘hair sex’ or the hair of a Muslim women really does have orgasms.

Fatwa on washing a Muslim woman’s hair after sex.

A Muslim woman asks a scholar;

Is it a must to wash your hair after intercourse to be considered clean?

And the scholar replies;

Praise be to Allah.
Washing the hair when doing ghusl (full body cleansing) after having intercourse is obligatory.
Narrated by ‘Aiesha: “When the Messenger of Allah did ghusl (full body cleansing) after having intercourse, he would start by washing his hands, then he would pour water with his right hand onto his left hand and wash his private parts, then he would clean himself’ as for prayer, he would take the water and put his fingers in his hair till he reached the roots, and when he saw that the water had reached the roots, he would pour water over his head three times. Then he poured water over the rest of his body, then he washed his feet.”

The Hadith does not mention that Aiesha did the same…but

Um Salamah, asked the prophet: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I am a woman who braids her hair, should I undo it to do ghusl (full body cleansing) after having intercourse and after my period?’ He said, ‘No. It is enough for you to pour water on your head three times.’” The Messenger explained that it is not obligatory to undo them every time, because this is too difficult, especially in the case of ghusl (full body cleansing) after intercourse.
If you see a Muslim woman with a wet head, you know what she was doing earlier...

But, Aiesha heard that Umar was commanding women to undo their braids when they did ghusl. She said, ‘This is very strange on the part of Ibn ‘Umar! He is telling women to undo their braids when they do ghusl – why doesn’t he tell them to shave their heads?
Aiesha knew that Umar was an asshole.

She continued with; the Messenger of Allah and I used to do ghusl using one vessel, and I never did more than pour water on my head three times.’
Keep it simple.

I still don’t know how their hair becomes impure after sex-- unless the husband is having sex with her hair…..you know, to give it an orgasm.

But the scholars differ on the Fatwa regarding this. Some scholars said that it is obligatory for women to undo their braids when doing ghusl after their periods, but not when doing ghusl after having intercourse.

The difference between the two is obviously that ghusl after intercourse is done frequently, and it would be too difficult for a woman to undo her braids in the morning and put them back in the evening or vice versa, but ghusl following one’s period is usually done only once a month, so it is easy for a woman to undo her braids for this purpose. And Allah knows best.
Allah doesn’t mention any of this.

A Muslim asks a scholar;

We have a sister in Islam who is suffering from hair loss and the doctor asked her not to wash it with water except once a week, with the medicine, for three months. How should she purify herself in the case of janaabah (after sexual intercourse)?.

And the scholar replies;

Praise be to Allaah.
What is required in ghusl after sexual intercourse is to wash the entire body with water, including the hair and its roots. If using water will harm her and lead to her hair falling out, then she should do tayammum and wash the rest of her body, because Allah says in aya 5:6. “But if you are ill or on a journey, or any of you comes after answering the call of nature, or you have been in contact with women (sexual intercourse), and you find no water, then clean yourself with Tayammum (clean earth…yes that’s right, clean dirt).
This verse indicates that the sick person who will be harmed or his recovery delayed by using water should do tayammum. “
She’s already sick.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz was asked:

I am a married woman and I am sick with an allergy in my chest, and I suffer from this condition throughout the year. How should I pray? Can I do ghusl without washing my head, and wiping it only? Please note that I get this problem when I wash my head several times a week, and I often do not pray because I am unable to wash my head and can only wipe it. Please note that I am a teacher and I go out to work every day, and if I go outside after having a shower I fall sick.

He replied:
If you will be harmed by washing your head in the case of janaabah (after sex) and following menses, it will suffice to wipe it and do tayammum (wash with clean dirt) too, because Allah says: “So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you can” 64:16.
This is taken out of context as 64;16 speaks of giving charity not washing with dirt. Dumb scholar.

But he continued his with…It should be noted that some women exaggerate their fear about hair loss. It is essential that the hair loss should be a real sickness and not just something imagined or feared, in order for a woman to be allowed the concession of not washing her hair and wiping it and doing tayammum (cleaning with clean earth) instead.
Personally, I'd have fear of the clean dirt.

A Muslim asks a scholar;

How should a person do tayammum (clean themselves with clean earth) if he cannot find water or if he cannot use water?

And the scholar replies;

Praise be to Allah.
Al-Bukhaari narrated it in a number of hadith. One of these says: “ ‘It would have been sufficient for you to do this’ – then he struck the palms of his hands on the ground, then dusted them off, then wiped the back of each hand with the other, then he wiped his face with his hands.”
Abu Dawood narrated it with this version says: “He struck his hands on the ground and dusted them off, then he struck his right hand with his left hand, and his left hand with his right hand, then he wiped his face.”
Based on this, the way in which tayammum (clean earth) is done is to strike the ground once with the palms of the hands, then wipe the back of the right hand with the palm of the left, and the back of the left hand with the palm of the right, then wipe the face with both hands.
And Allah knows best.
After reading all the scholarly advice, I don't think I want my hair to have an orgasm.

A Muslim asks a scholar;

When I was having an argument with one of my relatives, I uttered the words, “I am a Infidel” and I slapped myself on the face. Please note that I regret what happened and I need direction and guidance. What is the religious ruling on this case?

And the Scholar replies;

You should realize that you have fallen into the worst and most abhorrent of sins, which is the sin of the Infidel (disbelief) and apostasy, Allah forbid
With regard to slapping the face, it is narrated that Muhammad said: “He is not one of us who slaps his cheeks,..” This indicates that slapping the cheeks is a major sin.
Not major enough to have made it into the Quran...but made me laugh.

A Muslim asks a scholar;

In some foreign countries – kaafir countries – there is the well-known custom of April Fool, which happens of the first day of April. Some Muslims are imitating them in this, thinking that it is permissible to tell lies on this day… what is your opinion on this belief and on this custom?

And the scholar replies;

Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible to imitate the kuffaar and to be like them if they do things or invent things that you like, because the Prophet said: “Whoever imitates the good things of a people is one of them.”
April fool! April fool is not allowed.

Here is the real scholars advice

Lying is not permissible at all, at any time. And it is not permissible to imitate the kuffaar and to be like them, on this day or on any other, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”
But if they really believed this, either are computers or other ‘vain desires of the kuffaar’...like the internet and cell phones.

A Muslim asks a scholar;

Is it true that anyone who does not accept that kuffaar are kuffaar is a kaafir himself?

And the scholar replies;

Praise be to Allah
Yes, this is correct
Honest, I didn’t make that up!  I don't make up any of these fatwa's or the answers.  I'm not that creative.
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