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Friday Freaky Fatwa; Milk banks and Judgement Day

A Muslim asks a scholar

My question is with regards to the day of judgment, from what i have read in the sahih (accurate) hadith it is stated that the day of judgment will come on Friday the 10th. My question is if it is Friday in Saudi Arabia then it will be another day in USA and so on....so basically it is never Friday all over the world at one time...please answer, this has been troubling me for some time.

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

Everyone who gives a specific time or date for the onset of the Day of Judgement is a fabricator and a liar. The onset of the Day of Resurrection is the “Hour” of which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

7:187 “They ask you about the Hour: ‘When will be its appointed time?’ Say: ‘The knowledge thereof is with my Lord. None can reveal its time but He’”

But when the Day of Resurrection comes, at the time which is known to Allah, which will be a Friday,
Oh, did he just call himself a liar and a fabricator?  The Quran doesn’t say it will be a Friday. 

then the system of this universe, with its night and day, sun and moon and stars, will be changed. We do not know whether the America which exists today will exist then or not,
He meant Saudi Arabia because everyone knows they don’t follow the Quran at all.  They follow Hadith and make up their own laws.  And everyone knows their laws really suck.

for Allah is Able to destroy whichever of these nations He wills before the Day of Resurrection, for Allah is Able to do all things
Well, not all things.  Allah’s words have not been able to overcome the words of buky Bukhari.

and Allah knows best
If they believed that, they wouldn’t follow the laws of buky

A Muslim asks a scholar

In America there are banks known as milk banks, which buy milk from nursing mothers then sell it to women who need to give it to their children but their own milk is lacking, or they are sick or are too busy working, etc. What is the ruling on buying milk from these banks?
And the scholar replies
Praise be to Allah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allah preserve him, who replied as follows:
great, more stupid laws from a dead guy who wasn’t even a prophet

This is forbidden.

It is not permissible to establish this kind of bank, because this is human milk, and the milk from different mothers will be mixed, so that no one will know who is the mother.
What??  The mother knows she’s the mother.  Stupid scholar

In Islam, drinking the milk of a woman creates the same relationship as does a close tie by blood (i.e., it has an effect on whom one may and may not marry, etc.).
Dummies.  The verse he’s twisted is speaking of foster mothers.

4:23  Prohibited to you for marriage are:- Your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers (Who gave you suck), foster-sisters; your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have not gone in;- (Those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful
The scholars aren’t

If the milk is of any kind other than human, then there is nothing wrong with milk banks.
yeah, that would be called a grocery store, not a bank

And Allâh knows best.

There was among the people who came before you a man who killed ninety-nine persons. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth, and was directed to a monk, so he went to him, told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked if his repentance could be accepted. The monk said, 'No.' So, he killed him and completed one hundred.

Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth and he was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked whether his repentance could be accepted. The scholar said, 'Yes, what could possibly come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such land, for in it there are people who worship Allah. Go and worship Allah with them, and do not go back to your own land, for it is a bad place.'

So, the man set out, but when he was halfway there, the angel of death came to him, and the angels of mercy and the angels of torment began to argue over him.

The angels of mercy said, 'He had repented and headed wholeheartedly to Allah.' The angels of torment said, 'He never did any good thing.'

An angel in human form came to them and they asked him to decide the matter. He said, 'Measure the distance between the two lands (his home town and the town he was heading for), and to whichever of the two he is closer is the one to which he belongs.' So they measured the distance and found that he was closer to the town for which he was heading, so the angels of mercy took him."

The moral of the story?  Trust human Angels.
Quran 17:110 Say: "Call upon Allah (God), or call upon Rahman: by whatever name ye call upon Him, (it is well): for to Him belong the Most Beautiful Names. Neither speak thy Prayer aloud, nor speak it in a low tone, but seek a middle course between."

This will be the last Friday Freaky Fatwa for awhile.

Starting next Saturday I'll be switching over to  Saturday Sharia or something like that.
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