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Fatwa on insurance and laughing too much

Fatwa on insurance. "It is haram/forbidden for Muslims to use insurance in any form. However, if a Muslim is forced to take out car or home insurance then it is permissible on the condition that if the car or home is damaged in anyway, that the Muslim has NO right to take from the insurance company any more than the equivalent of the premiums he paid.

If the car is damaged and the Muslim paid 3 months of car insurance or a total of $800.00 then that is all the Muslim can recieve no matter how much the cost of the real damage."

I hope insurance companies are aware of this Sharia law. But I doubt it. As I keep saying, Muslims know more about the Infidels laws, but the Infidels don't know much about Muslim Sharia laws. That needs to change!

The following is the foundation for this insurance fatwa.

“The Messenger of Allaah forbade transactions determined by throwing a stone."

Clear enough? Not yet? Keep reading.

Transactions determined by throwing a stone – this was a type of transaction that was prevalent in the markets of pre-Islamic Arabia, whereby a stone was thrown by either the buyer or the seller, and whatever it touched, its transaction became binding.

It's clear as hell to any Muslim that this is about car insurance.

There are exceptions. A person who is on death row can apply for life insurance because he knows when he’s going to die and therefore it is not gambling.

Muslims are forbidden in working in this field of employment as it is forbidden to help people sin.

Health insurance is a form of gambling because if he falls to get sick or have an accident, his money is gone.

As one Muslim scholar issued this statement. "I call on every Muslim who has pride in his religion and whose hopes are focused on Allah and the Last Day to fear Allah and to avoid all kinds of insurance, no matter how attractive their proponents make them, for they are undoubtedly forbidden."

And this is based on this Quranic aya (verse)

5:90 “O you who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, and stone altars for sacrifice to idols, and arrows for seeking luck or decision are an abomination of Satan’s handiwork. So avoid these things in order that you may be successful

See? Clear as mud. Insurance companies, pay attention!

Fatwa on laughing too much

Sharia law says that Laughing too much is forbidden.

Because Muhammad said to his companions, “Avoid excessive laughter, for too much laughter kills the heart.” When asked about a cure for someone who laughs too much, the prophet reportedly said, the only cure is death.

This became such a big issue that there are fatwas and rules on laughter.
Here are some of the rules for laughing and joking.

Rule 1
It not should not involve any element of making fun of Islam such as the Hadith or hijab as it will make you an infidel

2 – The jokes should only be truthful. That contradicts rule 1.

3 – Not scaring people
Especially those who are very energetic or strong, or who are holding a weapon or a piece of iron, probably because they might beat you up.

4 – Mocking people by winking behind their backs. Every Muslim is sacred to another Muslim, his blood, his property and his honour. It is also based on this hadith.

“The companions were travelling with the Prophet and a man among them fell asleep. Some of them got a rope and tied him up, and he got scared. The Messenger of Allah said: ‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim".

5 – The jokes should not be excessive.
Or too funny as to make people laugh too much. 2 or 3 hahas are ok but be careful of the 4 and 5th Ha.

6 – You should not joke with ignorant people, fools or people whom you do not know.
So, Muslims should not joke with other Muslims.

7 – The amount of joking should be like the amount of salt in one’s food.
Really funny jokes are not allowed.
Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart and makes you forget about Allah for even a few minutes.”
I’m thinking that makes Allah laugh.

8 – Choosing appropriate times for joking.
“Joking is not right, it is to be denounced.” And is only allowed for those who know how to do it and do it at the appropriate time
Like when everyone is asleep or if they are Non Muslim.

The Prophet said: “If you knew what I know, you would laugh little and weep much.”
Muhammad didn’t laugh much at all, but then his companions weren't that funny.

Hadith tells that Muhammads laughter was never more than a smile. He used to remain silent for long periods, and laugh little..

Aiesha said: “I never saw the Messenger of Allah laughing so heartily that his back teeth showed; he would only smile.”
And as all Muslims must imitate Muhammad, laughing laws are important.

If a Muslim laughs to excess it is as if he is undertaking a journey that he knows will lead to his doom.

As the fatwa commands...Resist the urge to laugh as much as possible, as well as tying to stop others from laughing. So the Muslim must first suppress his own laughter, just as he suppresses a yawn---- as every good Muslim knows, Allah loves sneezing but hates yawning.

And last

Don’t laugh at our fatwas

There’s more about this in my book; The Humor of Islam...you'll die laughing" Yes, the title is a twist on the sharia laughing law. You can find out more here


There you will find the first male Islamic transgendered dog :D
Try not to laugh too much


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