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Fridays Freaky Fatwa--can you eat a mermaid?

A Muslim asks a scholar about....
Is there any such thing as a mermaid?  Ruling on eating mermaids

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allaah.

A mermaid is a creature that lives in water and looks like a human. As to whether it really exists or it is a mythical being, that is subject to further discussion.

From the modern academic resources that are available to us, it may be understood that the mermaid, which is called Sirène in French, is a mythical creature that is described in fairy tales as having an upper body like a woman and a lower half like a fish.
This means, anything female requires the opinion of many scholars.

Al-Dumayri said in Hayaat al-Haywaan al-Kubra: Mermaid: it resembles a human but it has a tail. Al-Qazweeni said: Someone brought one of them in our time. End quote.
Did they eat it?

Many of the fuqaha’ mentioned mermaids and differed on the ruling concerning them. Some of them said that they are permissible to eat because of the general meaning of the evidence which says that whatever is in the sea is permissible. This is the view of the Shaafa’is and Hanbalis, and is the view of most of the Maalikis and of Ibn Hazm and others.
Laughing at that! I’m thinking the words ‘Chicken of the Sea’ would really confuse them. But as with anything that deals with females, they don’t all agree…

Ibn Hazm said: As for that which lives in the water and cannot live anywhere else, it is all halaal no matter what state it is in, whether it is caught alive and then dies, or it dies in the water and then floats or does not float, whether it was killed by a sea creature or a land animal. It is all halaal to eat, whether it is the pig of the sea a dolphin, a mermaid, or a dog of the sea
A dog..in the sea??..with a pig and a mermaid? I think old Ibn drank too much zam zam water.

It is halaal to eat, whether it was killed by an idol-worshipper, a Muslim, a Jew or Christian or it was not killed by anyone. The proof of that is the verses in which Allah says: 35:12 “And the two seas (kinds of water) are not alike: this is palatable, sweet and pleasant to drink, and that is salt and bitter. And from them both you eat fresh tender meat (fish)” and 5:64 “Lawful to you is the pursuit of water game and its use for food — for the benefit of yourselves and those who travel” . Allaah spoke in general terms and did not exclude anything.
eating pork is forbidden in the Quran….unless it comes from the…sea?? Gotta wonder where these guys got their education…Disneyland? But they’re not done….

Al-Durayr – a Maaliki scholar : Sea animals in general are permissible, whether it is dead meat or a ‘dog, shark or a pig, dolphin, and they do not need to be slaughtered properly. End quote.
Throw a pig in the sea, catch it and you can have pork chops…with a side of mermaid. End quote…haha.

Al-Saawi said in his commentary on that: The words “or a ‘dog’ or a ‘pig’ also include a ‘human’, referring thereby to mermaids. End quote.
Yes, I can see the menu now, it says…Today’s special; fresh dog, pig or mermaid.
and they’re still not done….

Al-Nawawi – who was a Shaafa’i scholar – said: As for that which does not appear in the well known form of a fish, the correct view according to our companions is that everything from the sea is permissible, because the correct view is that the name fish may be applied to all of it, and Allah says: “Lawful to you is the pursuit of water game and its use for food” [5:64].


Al-Mardaawi – who was a Hanafi scholar – said: All sea animals are permissible, except frogs, snakes and crocodiles. End quote.
Al does not know that frogs, snakes and crocs do not live in the sea. Only mermaids, dogs and pigs live in the sea.

Al-Kaasaani – who was a Hanafi scholar said : As for that which lives in the sea, there is no animal in the sea that is haraam to eat except in the case of fish, it is permissible to eat it except that which floats. This is the view of our companions. End quote.

except this companion…

Ibn ‘Aabideen – who was a Hanafi scholar – said: Anything other than fish and the like, such as mermaids and dolphins, is impure and remains prohibited.
And Allaah knows best.

And this scholars opinion....if you catch a mermaid, go see a doctor

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