Az Zaqqum Islamic Scholar for the infidel: Friday Freaky Fatwa--Can a Muslim take a Bribe?

A muslim asks a scholar

I have some work to get done with one of the government departments. Is it permissible to give or take a bribe?

And the scholar replies

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly; That’s code for; we’re gonna mess you up

Bribery is a major sin, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood ‘Amr who said: The Messenger of Allah cursed the one who gives a bribe and the one who takes it.
What does the Quran say?

So if you can get the work done without paying a bribe, then it is haraam for you to pay it.
And if not, can you take or give a bribe?

Secondly: the question should have been answered in “firstly”

If a person who has a right cannot get his right except by paying a bribe, then the scholars have stated that it is permissible for him to give the bribe in that case, and the prohibition applies to the one who takes it and not the one who gives it.
And exactly how does that apply to this question? Oh right, it doesn’t.

They quoted as evidence for that the report narrated by Ahmad from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, according to which the Messenger of Allah said: “One of them asks me for something and I give it to him, and he goes out with it, carrying it under his arm, and it is nothing but fire for him.” ‘Umar said: O Messenger of Allah, why do you give it to them?” He said: “They insist on asking me, and Allah insists that I should not be stingy.”
Stupid Hadith. Why don’t the quote the Quran?

The Prophet gave money to these people even though it was haraam for them, so as to ward off any accusation of stinginess from himself.
Well he was a good guy, but what does any of this have to do with taking bribes?

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiya said: If he gives him a gift so that he will refrain from wronging him or so that he will give him his rights, this gift is haraam for the one who takes it, but it is permissible for the giver to give it to him.
Are you serious?? It’s ok to offer a bribe but forbidden to accept one? What religion do these scholars follow?

The scholars said: it is permissible to give a bribe to an official so as to ward off mistreatment, not to make him withhold a right, but his taking the bribe is haraam. For example, if a man gives something to a poet or someone else so that he will not tell lies about him in verse or otherwise, or so that he will not say something about his honour that it is haraam for him to say, it is permissible for him to give that to him, but what he takes so that he will not wrong him is haraam for him, because he should not wrong him anyway.
Their logic makes my brain hurt…and probably lands a lot of Muslims in prison.

Everyone who takes money so that he will not tell lies about people or so that he will not mistreat them, all of that is haraam earnings, because wronging and lying are haraam anyway, so he should refrain from them without any compensation that he takes from the one who has been wronged. If he does not refrain from doing that unless he is paid, then this is haraam earnings. End quote.
I agree with that, and at least they didn’t quote a Hadith to back it up.

The scholars said: The one who gives a gift to the one who is in authority so that he will do something for him that is not permissible, it is haraam for both the one who gives it and the one who takes it. This is the kind of bribe of which the Prophet said: “Allah has cursed the one who gives a bribe and the one who takes it.”
Back to Hadith, huh? Nothing from the Quran?

The Prophet used to say: “I give one of them something and he goes out with it under his arm, but it is fire.” It was said: O Messenger of Allah, why do you give to them? He said: “They insist on asking me, and Allah insists that I should not be stingy.”
What does that have to do with bribes?

Taqiy al-Deen al-Subki said: What is meant by the bribe that we have mentioned is what is given so as to ward off a right or obtain something falsely. If it is given in order to attain one’s right, then the prohibition applies to the one who takes it. But if the one who gives it cannot attain his rights except by this method, then it is permissible, but if he can attain his rights without it, then it is not permissible.
I have some work to get done with one of the government departments. Is it permissible to give or take a bribe? That was the question

Al-Hamawi (Hanafi) said in Ghamz ‘Ayoon al-Basaa’ir says: “What is haraam to take is also haraam to give”, such as riba, the wages of a prostitute, the fee of a fortuneteller, bribes, and payments to wailers and musicians,”
wailers??

Conclusion:

It is permissible for you to give a bribe and it is haraam for the official who takes it, but there are two conditions:

1- You should be giving it in order to take your rights or to ward off harm from yourself. But if you are giving it in order to take something to which you are not entitled, then it is haraam and is a major sin.

2- There should be no other means of obtaining your rights or warding off harm from yourself except this bribe.

And Allah knows best.
If they really believed that, they would have quoted something from Allah. Like these;
4:85 “Whosoever intercedes for a good cause will have the reward thereof, and whosoever intercedes for an evil cause will have a share in its burden. And Allah is Ever All-Able to do and also an All-Witness to everything

2:188"And do not eat up Your property among yourselves For vanities, nor use it As bait for the judges, With intent that ye may Eat up wrongfully and knowingly A little of other people's property.

2:9 They would deceive God and those who have attained to faith-the while they deceive none but themselves, and perceive it not.

6:70 Leave alone those who take their religion to be mere play and amusement, and are deceived by the life of this world. But proclaim (to them) this (truth): that every soul delivers itself to ruin by its own acts: it will find for itself no protector or intercessor except Allah. if it offered every ransom, or reparation, none will be accepted: such is the end of those who deliver themselves to ruin by their own acts: they will have for drink only boiling water, and for punishment, one most grievous: for they persisted in rejecting Allah
Boiling water and bitter fruit of the Az Zaqqum Tree. It’s not good.

5:106 O ye who believe! Let there be witnesses between you when death draweth nigh unto one of you, at the time of bequest two witnesses, just men from among you, or two others from another tribe, in case ye are campaigning in the land and the calamity of death befall you. Ye shall empanel them both after the prayer, and, if ye doubt, they shall be made to swear by Allah (saying): We will not take a bribe, even though it were on behalf of a near kinsman nor will we hide the testimony of Allah, for then indeed we should be of the sinful

22:30 That is the command. And whoso magnifieth the sacred things of Allah, it will be well for him in the sight of his Lord. The cattle are lawful unto you save that which hath been told you. So shun the filth of idols, and shun lying speech

5:38 Cut off the hand of the thief, male or female, as a recompense for that which they committed, a punishment by way of example from Allah.
The correct answer to this question would be;

NO! YOU CANNOT TAKE BRIBES!

A Muslim asks a scholar

A man used to accept bribes. Then Allah guided him to righteousness. What shall he do with what he used to earn as bribe?

And the scholar replies

There can be two situations. Really?

Either the bribes he used to accept were from those that had been wronged who had to offer bribe as a means of obtaining what was their right, in which case the repentant should return them their amounts or articles or whatever.
whatever

For what he took from them is considered as having been taken by force or through deceit.
All bribery is considered deceit.

Or, the bribe was taken from an unjust man like he himself was before repenting. (That is, someone who achieved or attained things via bribes which were not his right.) This amount is not to be returned to him. Instead the repentant should spend it in a charitable way, such as on the poor and the destitute. Likewise, he must repent the harm he caused to people by giving their right away to others who had no right to them, but rather obtained them via the use of bribes.
The correct answer would be to return the bribery money. Bribery is a lie, a deceit, a theft, a major sin.

The definition of bribes or bribery is;
The offering, giving, receiving, or soliciting of something of value for the purpose of influencing the action of an official in the discharge of his or her public or legal duties
Bribery constitutes a crime to promise, offer, or give something, usually money, to a person to procure services or gain influence, especially illegally
a reward, such as money or favour, given or offered for a purpose

gift offered to persuade a person to do something, usually dishonest
Bribery, a form of corruption, is an act implying money or gift giving that alters the behavior of the recipient.
Bribe - From Old French, it was originally a piece of bread given to beggars.

2:11 And when they are told, "Do not spread corruption on earth," they answer, "We are but improving things!"

11:85 O my people! Give full measure and full weight in justice, and wrong not people in respect of their goods. And do not evil in the earth, causing corruption

There’s a whole book filled with this stuff. Someone should read it.